Ina paha
by GygyFr
Summary: Post 5x07 What happened between the rescue and the next episode? How will Steve deal with what he's been through (torturing and all the other things, of course)? No matter what, his soul brother will be there for him... #McDannoBrotherhood mainly
1. The rescue

**Hello everyone! For those who don't know me yet, this is my third fanfiction for Hawaii 5-0. This is going to be a double OR a triple-chapter story (depends on YOU and your reviews of course).**

 **When I saw the 100th episode (season 5 episode 7), I was wondering what had happened between the rescue moment and the next episode; we all saw Steve being vulnerable as he never was before, sobbing when the whole team was there for him after he had killed Wo Fat. But the next episode, it was like nothing had ever happened. That was weird, wasn't it?**

 **So, I tried to figure out (I did my best, okay?) what had happened between these two moments, adding as many details as I could for the moment they found Steve lying flat and still on the ground. This is my guess, okay? So if it doesn't fit what you had in mind, I am sorry; this is what I think ^^**

 **Please, leave me some reviews, maybe I'll be inspired for a third chapter (the second chapter is already written but I still can change some details here and there), or just tell me what you think about this first chapter!**

 **Enjoy!**

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They all heard it. A loud noise from a room down the hall, resonating and tearing the air. Was that a shot fired? Everyone looked at each other for a moment, worried. They had to continue. Without a word, everyone wondered what it meant. If it was really a shot fired, it could mean two things: either Wo Fat had just shot Steve, or Steve had just shot Wo Fat after releasing himself. At the end of the corridor, the four members of the 5-0 Task Force gathered; Lou Grover behind the door and ready to open with a simple gesture from Detective Danny Williams, the latter standing on the other side of the door, ready to enter when the door would burst open. Just behind him stood Chin Ho Kelly, his heavy weapon at stake, ready to shoot at the slightest suspicious movement. And behind Chin, Officer Kono Kalakaua, also ready to shoot at the slightest opportunity. They all stared at each other once again for a second, before Danny nodded. The signal. Lou took the handle and turned it on, opening the door. Danny raised his gun, looking to the left. Nothing. To the right. Nothing. All clear. He looked straight, holding his breath; two men and one woman down. The woman in black had been shot several times and appeared dead. One man looked like Wo Fat, the other just like Steve. It was Steve actually. Bare chest, all wet. A gun hanging on his right hand and his head turned to the left. He couldn't see any chest movement from where he was. Was Steve dead? He looked down; Wo Fat. With a satisfying gunshot wound to the head, his eyes glassy and motionless. Dead. Finally.

"Steve?"

One word and this one was barely whispered, broken. Danny swallowed hard; Steve didn't even move. He didn't flinch. The Jersey native didn't wait for his companions. He rushed to his best friend, dropping his gun. Once near him, he crouched, repeating his name.

"Steve?"

And finally, after having placed his left hand on his right shoulder, he stirred, opening his eyes wide, a slight spasm travelling through his body. Maybe it was fear, surprise, or something else, but at least there was a reaction.

"You alright?"

Motionless and inert for a moment, Steve thought about everything that had happened. His abduction, the insulating chamber, the chair on which he was attached and had just been tortured for an information he didn't have. Wo Fat. The fight. The gunshots. Steve jerked, straightening almost instantly, surprised and growling. It was a mixture of surprise and military reflexes, Danny could guess.

"You're alright", he repeated in a whisper to his friend in order to calm him down. "You're alright, come on."

Chin, who was behind him as they all entered the room, knelt as well but on the other side of Steve in order to help Danny place the back of their friend on the wooden shelf located behind him.

"You're alright, huh? You're alright?" the detective asked again softly.

Steve's gaze was unfocused, scanning the room, looking everywhere but them. To the right, to the left. His head was throbbing terribly, each of his heartbeat knocking like a hammer on his skull. His body was aching from everywhere, slightly trembling when a thin layer of dirt, sweat and water was covering him entirely. The question from Danny echoed inside his head, ricocheting.

"Yeah", was his only answer, but it was too weak to be heard.

It was a gigantic effort from him as blood dripped from his face and mouth; a deep laceration oozing on his left temple, bleeding profusely and he had another smaller laceration on the left eyebrow. He swallowed, attempting to utter another sentence, louder.

"Yeah, where's my father?"

Danny looked at Chin, worried. His father? Why was he asking for his father? Kono also understood that something was wrong with Steve. She knelt down too while Lou was checking that Wo Fat was indeed dead.

"I wanna see my dad… I wanna see my dad…"

A defiantly fading whisper while he was looking at his friend discreetly from the corner of his right eye. Steve looked around him, over Danny's shoulder in order to have a look at his father. In vain. He wasn't there. What the Hell was going on?

"Alright…"

Danny looked back at Steve, visibly lost and vulnerable. He had never seen him in such a state. He sighed heavily, looking down as ashamed of what he was about to say.

"Buddy, your dad died four years ago, okay?"

The detective rubbed his neck slowly as if he wanted to show him his full support and to protect him, still looking him straight in the eyes. Steve seemed so lost. What did they do to him to push him far like this? Nobody dared to talk, the heavy silence only interrupted by Steve's deep breaths. His head hurt him even more when he moved his head or tried to look up into the light, making him dizzy and nauseous.

"You alright?"

The same question, over and over again. It took time, but finally, Steve nodded slightly and weakly, even if he knew that it wasn't alright at all. Everything hurt, everything was a new torture to him. All this world he had created when they drugged him, in order to protect himself while being tortured was fading. A world in which he was still a NavySEAL, his father was still alive, Danny had moved in Hawaii to enjoy the sun, the beach with his wife Rachel and his daughter Grace, looking Hawaiian while he was a _Haole_. But Danny could only see within a second this thick shield of McGarrett crackling and exploding, revealing a more than vulnerable side of him he didn't know. He wasn't the same Steve; he wasn't strong, arrogant, self-confident or infallible. No. In front of him, Steve was weak, vulnerable, and… Sinking. He was sobbing, crying silently. Tears were not running down his cheeks, but he was sobbing heavily. Was it pain? Was the adrenaline finally flushing out of his system? Or the relief of having killed his untouchable enemy? Or was it a mixture of everything?

"You're alright, you're alright", Danny repeated, this time to reassure his broken friend.

Powerless, the two cousins looked at each other, wondering what could have happened in this room. Danny was moving his hand along Steve's neck, uttering sweet words to soothe him, to appease his sobs, to show him that he was there for him. For his best friend. His brother in arms. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes for a moment. He still couldn't believe what he was hearing and seeing.

"Let's go...", he whispered, trying to get up alone, in vain.

Steve wanted to get out, to go away from this Hell. Understandable.

"You alright?" Danny asked one last time, seeing that his partner was trying to raise. "Come on, let's go."

He started helping Steve to get on his bare feet, but he couldn't do it alone. Steve was too weak to bear his own weight, so the detective couldn't maintain their balance, he couldn't keep him properly upright, even after having put his right arm around his neck to support his weight. Chin came to the rescue, taking Stev's left arm to put him around his own neck. Now, they could get out of here without any problem. Kono had got up too, walking toward the door and waiting for her four colleagues. Barely passing Wo Fat's lifeless body, Lou patted Steve's left shoulder, also claiming his full support for his boss.

"Wait, wait..."

Everybody froze, and Steve made a giant effort to stand up straight in front of the Wo Fat's dead body. It was all over now. He knew the whole truth. Doris, his mother, had raised him after a failed undercover CIA operation, and thus before he and Mary were born and before she knew her future husband. And when hearing this, the Company had asked her to abandon that child, a sacrifice she apparently had hardly made. Steve was even wondering if all this had had an incidence on the fact that her mother retired as a spy in order to live a calmer life. Danny and Chin were sharing a look, wondering what was going on in the head of their boss and friend.

"Let's go...", he said once again in a whisper.

"Come on, man", Danny encouraged him.

Out of the room. Steve was limping, supported by two of his best friends, Kono leading their way, Lou bringing up the rear. He didn't know how much time he had spent in that cage, but everything appeared in slow motion around him. Movements above everything. They walked limply along hallways, they went up a couple of stairs, again some hallways. And finally, after what seemed to be a very long road inside this labyrinth, the light. The sun. The first natural light he could see after he didn't know how long. He frowned, closing his eyes and groaned. Too bright for him. Too much to bear. He could no longer stand up, even with help. Dizziness and nausea invaded him once again, his head spinning and swinging from side to side. His knees buckled, his weakness overwhelming him.

"Hey, hey! Steve!"

But Danny and Chin couldn't do anything but put him gently on the ground warmed by the sun. Without thinking, the detective placed two of his fingers on Steve's carotid to feel for a pulse. He sighed in relief; weak but there. He nodded at his partner, saying without a word that their friend was still alive, that he had just passed out, probably from exhaustion. He was still trembling, shivering.

"I already called for an ambulance", Lou said to the group.

Danny didn't nod, he was just focused on his friend's body. With the bright light, he could now see everything. Some nasty bruises were already forming on his chest and stomach. The left side of his face was covered in blood, two gashes bleeding heavily, especially the one near his temple. A few bumps puzzled him: the skin was burnt around the small circular wounds. Looking attentively, these wounds always appeared by two on his torso, as if he had received numerous electric shocks. It partially explained why Steve was trembling like a leaf; he had tortured by various manners.

"He's been through Hell...", Danny commented more for himself than for his colleagues.

The detective looked everywhere he could. He also noticed some very small red spots on Steve's right arm, too small to be tracks of a taser.

"I've got traces of injection over his right forearm."

Chin got out of his almost lethargic state, looking for any other traces. He spotted some after thirty seconds of research.

"I've got the same thing in his neck. And... Also his right forearm."

"He's been drugged", Danny concluded, frightening Kono.

What did they give to him? Danny chose to close his eyes as he shook his head from side to side, Kono only placed one of her hand over her mouth in order to stop her urge to scream, the two other conscious men were just unable to move or say anything. What seemed to be hours appeared to only be minutes; the time was less linear when one faced such a situation when a really good friend was hurt in front of one. Sirens. Finally, the paramedics were here.

"What do we have?" One of the paramedics asked, surely the one in charge.

"He's been tortured and drugged", was all Danny could say at the time.

He was so shocked and worried about his friend. The paramedics inserted an IV on Steve's hand, carefully blocking the tube with tape and within five minutes, they were both ready to transport him to the nearest hospital. Fortunately, it was Tripler, the army medical hospital; they had his file there at least. The trip to the hospital was rather quiet, Danny not leaving Steve for a second while the paramedic tried to have a visual on Steve's vitals. In less than ten minutes, the ambulance stopped and the Commander had been rushed into one of the many rooms of the ER, followed closely by Danny, the nursing staff being too busy to notice that he was there in the room while accessing their patient. An old doctor took a stethoscope from around his neck, placing the tips in his ears and the tunable diaphragm on Steve's chest to check his breathing and heartbeat.

"Breathing's normal. What about his vitals, Chen?" he asked while her colleague hooked the hospital cardiac monitor on the three electrodes placed on his battered torso before wrapping a new BP-cuff around one of his arms and clipping an oximeter from the hospital on his index finger.

"Heartrate at ninety-eight, BP at hundred and fifty-four over ninety-seven. Sats at 95%."

The doctor in charge of the ER, Healani, grabbed her penlight and shoved the light into Steve's eyes to see any reaction.

"Pupils are slightly dilated."

"W-what do you mean they're dilated? It's bad? Please tell me he's okay. He's okay?"

Danny was panicking now. He knew what dilated pupils meant, and that was one of his biggest fear. He approached his friend again, trembling from head to toes.

"Sir, please, you need to step away and let us do our job", Healani said brutally, turning towards him with a cold gaze.

"Just tell me he's okay, for God's sake!" he screamed at the paramedics, startling everyone around him.

"Sir, detective", the nurse in charge, Kala, started, seeing that her colleagues were working on the Commander. "We are doing everything that we can to know about his conditions, alright? But we need you to step back for a moment so that we can do our job and stabilize your coworker."

"He's not my coworker right now, he's my friend, okay? And I really need to know he's okay."

Seeing the distress into Danny's gaze, Kala approached him and moved him outside the room gently and carefully.

"That's what we're trying to figure out. Please, you have to wait outside, we'll come back to you as soon as we know your friend is stable."

Finally, Danny let go and nodded. Tears were ready to fall from his eyes as he could see everyone working on Steve in slow motion. He passed his left hand over his mouth and his cold lips trying to repress slight nausea and dizziness. His whole body was trembling with concern, he felt like trapped, his breathing shallow as sweat was dangerously invading his face. He was panicking. He turned around, running out of this Hell also well-known as the emergency room. As he rushed outside, he tried to take some deep breaths, chasing away his slowly increasing urge to retch. Once again, his heart was beating so hard that he thought his chest was going to explode. After five minutes, he finally calmed down, carefully sweeping away the cold sweat on his face with one of his arms. He came back inside, going to the men's room to splash some cold water on his visage. He waited to completely be calm, or close to calm to get out and take a seat in the ER, pretending to wait patiently for any news about Steve. He waited ten minutes, then twenty minutes, still nothing. After thirty minutes, Lou, Chin and Kono joined him, seeing how emotionally unstable their teammate and friend was. They were all worried of course, but Danny was a real mess, everyone could see it, nobody could blame him for that. An hour passed before a doctor joined them in the room, unnoticed by the group for a moment. This doctor could see how his patient's condition was affecting his colleagues, he could feel the high tension filling the air.

"You're the family of Lieutenant-Commander Steve McGarrett?" he finally managed to ask.

Everyone raised their head, finally aware that someone was there to give them some news about their fallen and broken friend. Danny was the first to react, standing in a hurry and approaching the physician.

"How is he, doctor?"

"You are?" he asked, well-aware that he had seen him not a long time ago into the room, screaming at him.

"I am Detective Danny Williams. I am listed as his next of kin and moreover I am his best friend", he gently said, trying to hide his furry. "And if you want to talk to me, we're all ohana here. So tell us how is he, please."

"Alright. He's still unconscious, but as his body has been through a lot, it's not a major concern right now. He has a moderate concussion due to the shot to the head, and..."

"He got shot?!" Danny screamed, interrupting the doctor and frightening everyone in the process.

The latter turned around, passing his both hands through his hair, as he was used to when he was really angry; something his teammates had noticed several times already.

"I... I thought you knew, but apparently, I was wrong. I'm sorry. It's just a graze at the level of his left temple, deep enough to require a few stitches but we did a CT-scan and we found nothing to worry about."

Danny nodded, finally turning back to the doctor, still angry at the fact that Wo Fat had shot his friend to the head. He could have killed Steve. It should have killed Steve. He wondered for several seconds if the gunshot they had all heard wasn't just a simple shot but two shots fired at the same time. Danny closed his eyes, thinking about it; Steve and Wo Fat, both with guns, trying to kill the other, firing to the head of each other.

"May I continue?" The doctor asked, bringing the detective back to reality.

He shook his head slightly, chasing all the bad thoughts out of his mind.

"Yes, please."

"Uh, he has a couple of cracked ribs, but surprisingly nothing is broken. However, it should be painful to breathe for a week or so. We also found some traces of electrical shocks, and that's our main concern right now. He has short periods of arrhythmia while treating him, so we need to monitor his heart very closely. It should fade with time though. I ordered some blood tests as well, and we found sodium thiopental and methoxetamine in his bloodstream."

"Uh... Sorry to interrupt, doc, but what's sodium thi..."

"Sodium thiopental? It's what we commonly call a truth serum. And methoxetamine is a dissociative hallucinogen. Consider it as a cousin of phencyclidine, also known as PCP."

"So, he's really been drugged?"

"It appears so. These two joint chemicals have a major side effect; the blood sugar level drops sharply. However, his blood tests show that his sugar and nutrient levels are relatively high, which I do not explain."

"We, uh... Our forensics found this where he has been found. Is it related?"

Chin took his phone from his pocket and showed to the physician the picture Noelani had sent. It was the two bags filled with an orange substance. The doctor, Dr Halani, zoomed on the writing and nodded slightly.

"Yes, that's why his tests are surprisingly correct. It's a mix of nutrients to keep a body's integrity. And they had the decency to add B12."

"What is this?"

"It's what gives the orange colour to the fluids. The body needs it to remain healthy."

"So... He's been drugged, but... His captors took also care of him? That's what you said?"

"It seems so. Maybe it was to keep him alive long enough to talk? We see this a lot you know, more often than you might think actually."

"Basically, we are trying to flush his system of any drugs. We're giving fluids to keep him hydrated, as well as some supplemental oxygen through a nasal cannula to help his breathing. We also sutured his left eyebrow and we are waiting for him to wake up. But as I said earlier in our conversation, his body's been through a lot this past twenty-four hours, so he needs to rest."

"Can we see him, at least?"

"He's been settled into a room and we'll monitor him closely for any change, but yes. You can see him, but one at the time."

Danny turned toward his colleagues, who were all looking at him. Words unspoken, they knew the detective had to be the one with Steve.

"Keep us updated. And tell our stubborn boss to wake up soon", Lou stated, smiling weirdly as the two cousins nodded, agreeing with the former SWAT man.

"Will do", Danny replied, following the doctor into the hallway. "He's really okay, doc?" he asked anyway when they stopped close to a door.

He wanted to be reassured about Steve's conditions, which was understandable after what he had seen on the scene and in the ambulance.

"All things considered, yes. Just some arhythmia here and there, but we are monitoring this."

"What about the concussion and the shot to the head?"

"His body needs plenty of rest, I'm not concerned right now. But if he doesn't wake up in the next... I would say eight to ten hours, we'll run further tests to see if we didn't miss anything."

"So you're concerned, basically."

"As I said, I'm not concerned yet. Just call a nurse if there's any change. You can go inside."

"Thank you, doctor. And uh... I am truly sorry about earlier, I... I didn't mean to... Uh..."

"Don't worry, detective. I know what you're going through too. You've discovered your friend in a rather tough situation, you were worried about him and you still are. I completely understand your behaviour, trust me. I've seen a lot worse", he explained with a smile. "It's already forgotten."

"Thank you", Danny said, forcing a smile as he still felt sorry about what happened earlier in the ER.

The physician smiled again and went back to work after having tried to reassure Danny, probably in vain. He was so worried about his friend right now that he could have a heart attack because of it. He could hear and feel sharp and rapid thuds in his chest, slapping his ribs constantly. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to get rid of any negative thought. Steve was okay, he was alive. He just needed to rest, nothing to worry about. It didn't work. All Danny could see and think was how bad things could possibly happen. What about his arrhythmia? His heart was beating irregularly then, so what if... No. No 'what if'. He had to stop thinking about this. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts before placing his left hand on the handle. Slowly, he entered, soon surrounded by almost steady beeps from the heart monitor attached to Steve's chest. He closed the door behind him, turning around to have a look at his still asleep friend. He froze at the sight of this unmoving form lying in the hospital. It hurt him even more than anything he had thought. Actually, he hadn't really seen Steve in a hospital bed before. Well, he did once or twice, but it was the time to get checked out. It was not the same here; he was there as a patient, monitored closely by nurses, injured badly. Because of this son of a bitch. He was so glad he was dead now because he would have killed him himself if not. The layer of dust, sweat and water had disappeared from his skin, his both hands resting on his hips. An IV had been settled on the top of his right hand, providing him necessary and essential fluids. On his bare chest were landing the three electrodes of the cardiac monitor, a BP-cuff had been wrapped around his right arm and an oximeter was hooked to his left index finger. His left eyebrow and temple had been carefully sutured and patched, both areas becoming slightly blue and purple because of the force of the impact of the bullet and anything that had been slammed on his eye. From where he was, he could see the bruises and bumps on practically the rest of his body, especially on his chest and abdomen. Wo Fat banged him up pretty badly. That was probably a hell of a fight. Trembling, his legs ready to give in under his own weight, he approached slowly, almost holding his breath with every step he took. Finally arrived near the bed, he sat in the uncomfortable plastic chair. The slight and steady hiss of oxygen running down the nasal cannula to get into Steve's airways bothered him, but at least it kept him company. He needed his friend, but he was still asleep. The more minutes passed and the less he managed to keep calm, his anxiety growing increasingly. He stood up, pacing around from left to right, or back and forth, sitting down for a few minutes after that and started everything again. And thus, over and over again. After an hour, a nurse came in to check on Steve, disturbing Danny's process. At first, the caretaker was surprised, but she said nothing, carefully writing down the Commander's vitals in the medical chart clipped to the end of the bed. She got out as quickly as she had entered, leaving the Detective Williams in the solitude into which he had sunk for an hour now. And another hour passed, then two, and three. With the beginning of this fourth hour without any change, Dr Halani had asked the nurse on shift to prepare a Foley catheter. This had greatly worried Danny, but the physician had explained to him longly why the procedure was essential for his friend; to clean his blood, he had to urinate, which Steve couldn't do naturally in view of his condition. The catheter was there to make things easier. Danny had joked about it with the doctor, saying that it was definitely at that moment that his best friend would wake up. But nothing happened; Steve remained motionless. His heart rate had not even fluctuated, his blood pressure as well. So, he resumed his process, pacing around and sitting for a while. But after six hours waiting for his brother to wake up, fatigue took over and he slowly drifted to sleep.

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 **A/N: So basically, for the newt chapter, Steve will wake up (of course), but as you can guess, it won't be easy for everyone...**

 **I hope you liked this first chapter and I bet you will like the next one!**

 **Looking forward to read your reviews though ^^**


	2. Shattered

**Hello dear readers! Glad to see that the first chapter pleased you ^^ SO, basically I had some demands on your reviews, and I think I will with them all (if you have something you want and it fits the story, I can include your idea). I have also good news: I can write more than three chapters, so it'll be a longer multi-chapter story (80% chance that it'll be less than ten chapters though).**

 **I enjoyed reading your reviews, but I am not the first one trying to write something about a sequel to this episode. I've already read two or three of them, but AFTER having written the first chapter.**

 **But now, time to read this second chapter! As usual, leave me a review at the end about your feelings and all ^^**

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Danny didn't know how much time had passed, but a sudden and tearing noise coming from the room he was in awoke him. In less than a second, he straightened, opening wide his eyes, surprised by this strange and unusual sound. Confused, not knowing where to look at while waking up, his eyes stopped abruptly on the only thing moving in the room. Someone he knew much more than he had imagined not a long time ago was struggling to tear off the IV stuck in his right hand and to detach the wires of the heart monitor monitoring possible arrhythmias, in total panic mode. Danny stayed there, totally petrified for a while; he had never seen his friend in such a state a trance. But at some point, he managed to get up from the terribly plastic chair and didn't hesitate a second to drop the safety rail to the right of the bed in order to sit near him and prevent him from making a terrible mistake. He said nothing, unable to speak as the scene overwhelmed him. Once seated on the edge of the bed, he tried to fight this friend, surrounding him with his arms in order to stop him. Forcibly, even weak, he struggled and stuck a monumental punch in Danny's jaw, who found himself immediately on the ground. Of course, the patient used this gained time to simply snatch the rest of the wires and tubes and tried to get up. But despite the pain, the Jersey native stood up once again and resumed his approach, this time aware that his best friend would resist him. His face still sore from the punch sent by his brother of heart, he sat down again, wrapping his arms again to paralyze him. And as he struggled again to free himself, screaming aloud, Danny's voice came back, and of course, he didn't hesitate to use it.

"Steve, stop! It's over!"

His arms around his chest, he could feel how fast his heart was beating against his ribs, he could feel his pain and everything, how much it hurt, physically and mentally. The tearing screams of Steve reached his brain while he was still hugging him tightly against his own chest, desperately trying to calm him down.

"It's over, you're alright... You're alright...", he kept repeating until he could feel his partner stop struggling.

Even after that phase; he kept repeating it, calming Steve. The latter had recognized this voice. He knew it by heart, heard it a thousand times and knew every tone of it. Fear, anguish, surprise, anger, happiness. Even in his trance, he could feel in the least fibers of his body the fear and distress of his friend, why he was afraid. But above all, his voice was there, close to him and whispering in his ear that everything was over and that he was fine, it meant only one thing. The nightmare he had just experienced was over. To tell the truth, he didn't remember being rescued. His last memory was when Wo Fat and he had both a weapon in their hand, ready to shoot a bullet into the other's head. His last memory was that of a big burn in the head before everything faded away and he slipped into a black hole. The fear of death. Even on him, a heavily-trained NavySEAL, the fear of death was working. He had been so scared at that moment that when he woke up he had completely panicked. Feeling his friend by his side, it greatly soothed him. But he still couldn't calm his breathing. He didn't know what was happening, but he felt that something was wrong. Despite having calmed his panic, he was still in a bad state: his breathing was still fast and shallow, sometimes interrupted by an unstoppable cough. Danny frowned, worried about his friend. Something was happening and he didn't know what. Steve was relaxed, almost calm, yet his heart was pounding and he couldn't take deep breaths as if he was still in the middle of a panic attack.

"Can't... Breathe...", was the only thing he could utter.

Danny and Steve didn't move an inch, but he could hear a door open. The door of the hospital room. The detective turned slightly his head, not breaking the physical contact with his friend.

"It's the doctor, okay?" he explained to his best friend. "Doc? He says he can't breathe, what's happening?" he asked, trying to hide his concern for Steve, feeling helpless seeing him in pain.

The physician said nothing, looking around the room, surprised. The mess of the room explained why he couldn't have a sight on his vitals from the desk. He approached the two friends, taking his stethoscope. Delicately, in order to not frighten the sailor, he put the diaphragm on the top of his back to listen to his breathing. He could clearly hear something wrong.

"Why he can't breathe, huh?"

"We did some x-ray when he's been admitted, we found water into his lungs. This is one of the many reasons we wanted to keep an eye on him down the ER. As we didn't know where it came from, we did nothing but observe. But now that I remembered the paramedics telling us that he's been tortured and beaten, I can tell for sure that it's probably a side effect of the waterboarding", the doctor said, emotionless.

"Of what?" Danny asked, his eyes opening wide, surprised and concerned even more now.

"It's a behavioral engineering. You place a towel on someone's face, you pour water on it for several seconds and the tortured man thinks he's drowning. This torture uses the fear of death as a trigger to push someone into talking and to break him. Pretty accurate. In the Commander's case, he inhaled water, that's why he's having trouble breathing, add to that his cracked ribs..."

"Yeah, okay I got it", he said, now scared to death, thinking about what Steve had gone through because of Wo Fat. "What can we do then?"

"We can use the oxygen mask to help him breathe, but we wait to wait for his body and lungs to get rid of it."

"Okay, huh... Steve? Babe? You listen to me, okay?"

A simple nod from him was his only answer.

"Good. Uh... You need more oxygen, do you understand? But you need to use the oxygen mask for that."

"No... No drugs..."

"No, there's no drug in it, just oxygen for your lungs. I promise, nothing else. Do you trust me?"

Again, a small nod; Steve was unable to speak because he was too focused on trying to breathe properly despite his shallow breathing. Danny waved at the ER doctor, who had already prepared the oxygen mask and hooked it to the oxygen device of the room.

"Alright, Commander? I'm gonna place the oxygen mask on your face so that you will be able to breathe easier. No drugs, only oxygen, okay?"

Weakly, Steve nodded for the third time, looking straight into Danny's eyes seeking comfort for him. And the latter could see it instantly. He placed his right hand on his neck, rubbing his fingers into soft and small circles to soothe him, something he was used to when his daughter was sick or when she didn't feel right.

"You're alright... I'm here, you're alright."

As soon as the mask was applied, Steve closed his eyes, his lungs gradually filled with pure oxygen. He felt much better. But the sensation of having something around his mouth and nose revived some painful memories; something had already been placed over his face to drown him. He felt trapped, unable to breathe properly again, even though he knew he could. Nausea and dizziness invaded him, consuming the rest of his weakened self-control. He jerked on the bed, carefully supported by his best friend as he straightened up and pushed the oxygen mask away. The experienced doctor knew what was happening in less than a second, so he quickly grabbed an emesis basin and put it over Steve's chin before he puked. As he hadn't eaten something for more than a day, he had nothing on his stomach. What came out of the NavySEAL's mouth was only bile. And water. His body was rejecting the foreign substance out of his lungs. It lasted a minute or so, Danny not looking straight at his partner, fearing that he would probably retch as well, but he had Steve in his arms, trying to ease his pain with rubbing the palm of his right hand between his scapulas.

"You're alright, you're alright...", he uttered into his ears.

Danny could feel, as their chests were glued to each other, that Steve could breathe much easier now; it was less shallow, less rapid. As almost back to a normal pace. Healani gently hooked back all the wires to the three electrodes on his patient's chest, and read the screen as his vitals appeared.

"Alright, your oxygen is up to 98% without any help."

He stopped, thinking back to what had just happened when he applied the oxygen mask over his patient's mouth and nose.

"I think it would be better if you could use the nasal cannula for a while. It's less invasive, and you won't feel as bad as with the mask, is that okay with you?" he asked Steve directly, as the latter was helped by Danny to lie down in the bed.

"Kay...", he whispered back.

Healani helped with the cannula, struggling to lace it behind Steve's ears.

"If you're having trouble with your breathing again, call the nurse, okay? She'll come in soon to replace the IV on your hand, and every hour or so anyway to check on the Commander."

"Will do. Thank you, doctor."

The latter left the room, smiling to Danny, who turned quickly his head toward Steve. He could see how hard he was fighting the urge to sleep. His eyelids were lowering dangerously, but he was struggling. Everything jostled in his head; his kidnapping, Wo Fat, the hours of torture, the videos that had been thrown at him, the fight, the shot, his awakening. Everything he could feel was the pain. Which also meant that he was well alive and that he didn't end dead on the ground of a nasty room he didn't know where. He knew what pain was; he had been trained to support any pain, to overcome and survive it. But the one he felt at that moment wasn't one he could recognize. It was a different pain, deeper to any he had already experienced, impregnating each of the cells of his battered body. But the difference was that he loved that pain. He cherished it, waited for it and welcomed it. It was a surprisingly satisfying and benevolent pain. Beyond the many mission he had done for his country, he had never felt that. And he had seen so much that he couldn't believe it. In fact, he didn't know what it meant, what was happening; he didn't know why he liked this suffering. Danny seemed to have noticed something but he still said nothing about it. He clearly knew Steve's process of dealing with what he had experienced. Or he thought he knew. He didn't care; he knew more than anyone else his friend, that was what mattered. And right now, he needed to rest, meaning to sleep. He was fighting.

"Hey, Steve. Get some rest, okay? You need it. I'm not going anywhere, I promise. Just get some sleep."

Soon, Steve drifted to sleep, carefully secured with the blankets covering the hospital bed, watched by his friend. He felt safe. He was safe. Five minutes later, a nurse came inside with a new intravenous, ready to insert a new one on his right hand. After having smiled to Danny, she gently cleaned Steve's hand, cleaning the mess he had done when removing the IV in his trance, and inserted a new line. She left the room not even five minutes after having come in and soon returned with something in her hand.

"What is that?" Danny asked, seeing the nurse approaching with a syringe filled with something clear he didn't know.

"Commander McGarrett needs plenty of rest to get better. This is just a light sedative."

"Uh, nurse... Kala? Right?" he asked before she could nod, which she did at the question. "I guess it is something Dr. Healani asked for?"

Once again, the nurse said nothing but nodded. It was an order given by the physician in charge of the ER for the shift.

"Would you mind calling him back in here? I think I need to talk to him."

She nodded for the first time, dropping the syringe she had in hand to page the doctor. Once done, she stayed in the room, checking all Steve's vitals and writing them in the chart, patiently waiting for the doctor. A knock on the door, it opened, revealing Healani.

"Detective, what can I do for you?"

"A light sedative? Seriously?"

"As concerned as you can be for your friend lying in this hospital bed, it is for his own safety and his health. He needs it so his body can rest and get better."

"And Steve already asked to not use drugs on him. I am not a doctor, but I do know that a sedative _is_ a drug. So, I won't let you push some into his blood to make him sleep. He is sleeping and as far as I know, sleeping is resting."

"Detective, you have to understand that..."

"I said. No. Freaking. Drugs. Is that clear?"

"The Commander needs it. I am sure he is in pain after what he's been through, the sedative will fade the pain away and will help his sleeping", the doctor insisted.

Danny knew how hard it would be to convince Healani to not do his job as a doctor, but he had to get him understand that Steve didn't want the drugs. He was losing patience here.

"With all due respect, doctor, I know my friend much better than you do, alright? Even though you are also a soldier. Or a sailor, I don't care. I don't know what he's been through before I had the misfortune to meet him in a tough moment of his life because I know it's mostly classified."

Danny took a deep breath, knowing that he was losing his mind. He knew what was happening in Steve's head, or he was close to knowing.

"But I do know what he's going through right now. So I will tell you why he doesn't want any drugs. Drugs mean being tortured for him, alright? Feel the pain is his process, his only way to get away from what he's been through, it's his way to feel alive, okay? He's been trained for years to get over the fear of death, but feeling nothing _IS_ a synonym of death, you know? Do you understand now? He _NEEDS_ the pain!"

Through his explanations, Danny went to whispering with a trembling voice to a full-screaming tone. He was so angry. Angry because he didn't know what to do to appease his friend because Steve needed to feel alive but he was stuck inside his own body. He was angry because this garbage of Wo Fat had destroyed Steve. His Steve. He felt helpless about it. The only thing he could do was to show him his full support, how deeply he cared about him. How their friendship was strong. He wouldn't let go of him, he wouldn't give up. And the physician had understood that he wouldn't.

"Alright", he said, sighing. "I hope you know that you probably make a big mistake. If he changes his mind, just call Kala over here."

"No need. He won't ask for any painkillers or any drugs."

As the doctor and the nurse left the room, Danny sighed, sitting back in the chair and applying his elbows on the side of the bed where Steve was lying motionless. He looked at him, carefully observing each feature of his battered body. All covered in bumps and bruises. Was it like this all the time before he met him? Had he already been tortured this way? Sure he had. How many times, he didn't know. But with almost 90% of his file being classified, he knew who to deal with; Steve McGarrett had done some life-threatening missions with his NavySEAL career, it was classified so it was something to do with national security, hostile environments where the Americans were not necessarily well welcomed. He knew he had been deployed for missions in Iraq, at least once in North Korea for a black operation in order to extract Anton Hesse, leading to the death of his father, and couple years in Afghanistan where he confronted Hassan's terrorist group more than once, based on what he could understand. He knew that Steve had taken enormous risks to serve his country and his interests, but he could not believe that Wo Fat could have shot him in the head for he-still-didn't-know-the-reason. This guy had broken him to the point that now, he had no shield protecting him, both physically and mentally. He had pushed him really hard this time. He looked back at him again, and he knew. He knew that Steve was awake. He could feel it, he could see it on his face. He smiled, letting out a small laugh.

"I know you're awake."

Steve opened his eyes, looking down at his partner and tilting his head to the side.

"I'm sorry I've screamed. Didn't mean to wake you", the detective apologized.

He said nothing.

"Listen, I don't know what this SOB did to you back there, but... I need you to know that I will always be there. And that I won't let these freaking doctors push drugs on you. They're gonna have to go through me."

Steve knew by the serious tone of his voice that Danny meant every word he said. He wasn't going to let them drug him. His best friend, his brother was there for him. He wasn't going to give up on him.

"He... I killed my brother. Sort of."

"What? Look, I don't know what's happening in the head of yours, but you gave me the DNA results and I read it out loud. This dude wasn't your brother, of any kind."

"He was... He... When Doris was still a CIA agent, she... She had the order to kill a man, but his wife got killed instead. She had just given birth at the time."

Danny straightened, carefully listening to Steve, trying to figure out what all this meant.

"She... I guess she blamed herself for that because she raised that child as her own for years until the Company heard about it and asked her to abandon him."

"Wait... Don't tell me that child was Wo Fat."

"He was... He was some kind of... Of a foster brother."

The breaking news hit Danny straight in the chest. And everything matched in his head. That was why Wo Fat was looking for Doris; it was a revenge.

"That's why she faked her own death; Wo Fat was after your mother and your dad, sister and your lives were in danger because of his seek for revenge."

"I... I guess so... But... Why didn't he kill her when he could have done it? Remember? The first time you met, you said she shot to the ground to let him go."

"Steve, maybe he was surprised to see her alive? He didn't know who Shelburne was."

"But he knew Shelburne had a connexion with this whole story, he wouldn't have wished her dead otherwise."

"Wait, wait a minute. He knew about Shelburne being a part of his revenge, but he didn't know what. But after having met her, he knew who she was, so why he didn't kill her. I mean... She abandoned him, right? And when he was in prison, she visited him. That doesn't make any sense."

"I don't even know what makes sense myself, alright?"

"What if you ask Joe about all this? Maybe he knows something?"

"Not Joe. He already lied to me enough. He lied to me about knowing Shelburne from day one. And I suspect he was well aware of the connection between Doris and Wo Fat and he didn't tell me, so he lied to me about it as well. I guess he also knows where Wo Fat's father is. I'm done with these lies."

None of the two friends said a word after that for a long time. Steve was right; Joe White, his mentor and long-time friend lied to him on numerous occasions and he knew about all this. He decided to say nothing, understanding the position of his partner. Danny could see, however, that through his almost intangible mask, he was resisting the urge to sleep.

"Hey, why don't you get some rest, huh? You need to sleep, and huh... I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

Reluctantly, Steve nodded and relaxed in the bed, closing his eyes and waiting for the tiredness to kick in. It only took him a few minutes to fall deeply asleep. The nurse came back about ten minutes later with some ice for Danny; his jaw began to turn blue under the impact of Steve's right fist on it. He accepted this treatment with pleasure, grimacing as he placed the ice pack on his jaw. Only a few hours passed when Steve woke up again with a cold sweat invading his entire body. His breathing seemed paralyzed, he was unable to take a deep breath. He felt like he was still attached to that chair, torture for the umpteenth time by Wo Fat, the young woman helping him covering his face with a damp towel so that his enemy could pour some water over his head as if he wanted to drown him. Dr. Healani and the nurse Kala had then wanted to calm the crisis injecting a mild sedative into his system, but Danny was fiercely opposed to this solution. Steve had asked for no drugs and the detective would do everything to not let that happen. In spite of his sore jaw, he sat down again on the bed, putting all his strength in the battle. At least Steve listened to him, it was his only leverage to calm him down. It took him a few minutes to get there, but Steve calmed down gently, managing to regain control of his breathing, under the benevolence of Danny. A quick look at his vitals and a change of fluids later, the physician and the nurse left the hospital room, leaving the two friends on their own. The Jersey-native knew that Steve wouldn't want to talk about this, and he wouldn't push him to do so. He just needed to be there for him, to show him that if he wanted to release the pressure, he would be there for him. What was his surprise when he saw the Commandant's lips move.

"I... I thought I was still back there...", he managed to whisper with a trembling voice. "That he..."

A long silence settled. There were no words to describe what the NavySEAL was feeling. None of them could explain this Hell he'd been through. But Danny already got it; during their years of partnership, Steve had been tortured twice, and both times he had kept this shield so precious to him, the one he had created since his childhood. It was now his third torture experience, but it was the first time he appeared so vulnerable. The detective swallowed, thinking of the other causes of this behavior. What did Wo Fat tell him or do to make him so shocked? Or was it something else? Something from his past as a SEAL?

"Hey, if you can't wanna talk about this yet, then don't. But I want you to know that I'll be there for you when you'll need someone to talk to. Okay?"

He waited patiently for Steve to fall back asleep, thinking about what to do. He had an idea, but he was probably going to regret what he was about to do. Once certain that his partner was out, he left the room and took his phone in hand, praying that Steve would never hear about all that. Dialing a number, he put his cell phone on his ear while waiting for his interlocutor to answer.

"Detective Williams, what can I do for you?"

"Joe, I'm gonna need your help."


	3. A hard process

**Hi, peeps! It's so good to see you again! I've read your reviews for sure and took into account what you wanted and asked (sort of).**

 **I did my best to shorten some paragraphs because it seems that I give too many details sometimes. I didn't r** **educe the quality of the details, at least I don't think so, but I made sure to reduce the size of the paragraphs.**

 **So, here it is, the third chapter, ready for you ^^ I can do more chapters for sure, probably two or three after this one. I am not sure of anything actually. It's on you, dearest readers! What do you think?**

 **Please, leave me a review after having read. Tell me what do you think of this chapter, what do you want after that, or what you do not want (of course)... You can criticize, tell me what goes through your head, anything and everything!**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

After several minutes on the phone, Detective Williams convinced Joe to come to Tripler, and thus without giving him any detail about the reasons for this weird meeting. He came back inside the ER room, checking over Steve who was still deeply asleep. When the nurse appeared near him, he asked her if there was any free room around them, and after having taken a look at her computer, she explained to him that there was one, but she needed to know why such a question. He remained vague, but he said he was waiting for someone and he didn't want to talk to him in the hallway or in Steve's room. Hopefully, today was a good day and they had few patients, so the room could stay unused for a while, at least the time for a little chat. He thanked the nurse, preparing the room.

Twenty minutes later, he got out and waited for his guest, pacing around. And finally, Steve's mentor arrived and got out of his car.

"Detective Wiliams, I hope you have a good reason to bring me here", Joe asked rather coldly.

Danny inadvertently let out a slight smile before looking down and replying.

"A very good one, actually. We need to talk."

"Where is Steve?"

Ah, Joe just realized that the SEAL wasn't with him, but he still hadn't understood that if they were to Tripler, it was because he had been admitted. But he said nothing, asking him to trust him and follow him inside. He hesitated for a moment, but he followed him without a word, turning immediately to the left and they both entered an empty room. There were just a bed on one side and two chairs in the middle of the room. Danny blocked the door behind him as Joe turned around, frowning.

He didn't expect what was going to happen; the police officer turned abruptly, taking the ex-NavySEAL by surprise and striking him with a monumental punch on the jaw, causing the Commander to fall. the latter wondered what was happening and why he had just received this violent blow. The left side of his face was sore, aching and sending him some slight pain signals, but he said nothing. He raised his head, his body still on the floor, seeking for explanations. But just looking at Danny, he already had some. The detective was angry, his breath was shallow, drops of sweat reflecting the light from the neon lights above them, his complexion turning slightly red.

"THAT... It's for having lie to Steve all these years. He may be able to control himself to not punch you, but not me", he justified his behavior.

Angry, Danny shook his hand, still painful after the blow. Joe took this time to get up, still speechless and massaging his jaw.

"I deserved it, I presume."

"Yeah. And you're lucky I don't have my gun on me, otherwise you'd have ended with a bullet hole. How Steve managed to resist the urge to kill you after everything you did to him!"

"What I did? What I did was in order to protect him!" he tried to convince Danny.

But he wasn't fooled, far from it.

"The Hell with that!" he screamed, swinging his arms in all directions. "Steve is no longer a child!"

Joe also noticed that when the detective was very angry, he gesticulated more than usual. And that was the case. On that occasion, he had to be patient and wait for him to calm down, to explain himself. He didn't say anything, allowing Danny to continue his speech.

"You only lied to him, all these years! First his mother, then about Shelburne! Now Wo Fat! You thought he would never find out the truth?!"

"Wo Fat? What Wo Fat has to do with that?"

"What he has to do with that? Oh, maybe the fact that he kidnapped Steve once again two days ago? Maybe the fact that he drugged and tortured him for I-don't-know-why? Or maybe because he didn't hesitate to shot him in the head?"

Joe's eyes grew instantly, taking the information that had just been delivered to him like a cannonball.

"Steve's dead?" he asked, both surprised and emotionally all other the place because of this sudden information.

Danny sighed; he knew he had gone too far on that one, but he had to see a reaction from Joe in order to make him understand that Steve had come close to death this time.

"Non. Fortunately, Wo Fat is a bad shooter, the bullet grazed him. But don't change the subject alright?!"

Danny pulled himself together, becoming angry again. He blamed Joe for what happened, terribly. If Steve had known the truth from day one, maybe all that could have been avoided.

"Wo Fat didn't hesitate to torture him, to drug him. I don't know why but I think. No. I am sure you know why. And you'll tell me now, and you shouldn't lie to me about it."

"I don't know what you're talking about, detective", Joe assured.

It was too much to bear. The retired sailor never had the opportunity to move an inch, Danny was already on me, pinning him on one of the walls, placing his hand without an ounce of hesitation on his neck as if to strangle him.

"I said: no more lies. Why Wo Fat did all this."

Several seconds passed, but nobody talked. The silence was too heavy.

"Spill it out!" Danny screamed, clutching his grip.

"Alright...", Joe yielded. "I will tell you everything I know."

Incredible. The detective could not believe he might have managed to get Joe talking while Steve had taken years to have the same result. Except that instead of answers, he had only more questions, and it gnawed him from the inside. He swung his hand out of his neck, catching his breath because of the black anger that inhabited him.

"Why Wo Fat was after Steve. And Doris."

"Because... Because Doris did something she shouldn't have, and Wo Fat thinks she is responsible."

"Responsible for what?"

"A few decades ago, the CIA charged her with killing Yao Fat. But his wife died instead during the attack, and he was arrested. Unfortunately, his wife had just given birth to a child. Doris felt responsible for her death and decided to raise him, under the radar of the CIA and all government agencies. I don't know how, but after about five years, the Company found the trace of Doris and forced her to abandon the child."

He stopped there for a moment. He couldn't believe himself about what he was doing, meaning delivering classified information to a civilian. But he had no other choice now, as he was really about Steve's absence next to his partner. He really considered him as a son since he arrived on the mainland after his mother simulated her own death in a car accident. He had to regain Danny's confidence first and foremost, and his only way to get along was to say all he knew about Wo Fat. But he noticed something interesting. Danny didn't seem surprised by this information. As if he already knew.

"But you are already aware of that, aren't you?"

"Wo Fat talked about it to Steve, and Steve told me, yeah. That's one of the many reasons he's mad at you. He knows you knew and you had said nothing."

"I wanted to protect him, detective. Trust me. My intentions were not to hurt Steve, quite the contrary."

"What else do you know?" he asked him, not hearing what Joe had just said.

"Wo Fat swore for revenge after what he'd been through, especially about the fact that Doris abandoned him. He found her in Hawaii. And he managed to find John and their two children, Steve and Mary. we discussed numerous possibilities with Doris, but her best option was to fake her own death in order to protect her entire family. At least the time to eliminate Wo Fat. We... There was just one thing that we hadn't foreseen at the time."

"I'm not very prone to guessing right now, you see?"

Joe sighed heavily, plunging his eyes into Danny's. He wasn't going to give up. Not a chance. He had to tell everything he got. It was classified, he shouldn't have told him what he had already said. But as he was already retired, he just now didn't care much.

"Doris and I didn't expect John to push his kids to the mainland. Mary was sent to his sister Deborah and he gave me Steve. On many occasions, I thought to tell him everything about what was going on, but I didn't say anything. Because telling him meant putting him in jeopardy. And so was the same for his sister and his parents. I was stuck."

"So... You made him believe that you knew nothing? When his father died and he contacted you about Shelburne, you already knew, huh?" He asked him, his hands on his hips, waiting for an honest answer from Joe White.

"Shelburne was Doris' name code when she was with the CIA, yes. But as it could mean numerous things, that name remained under the radars. I presume Wo Fat got that name from his meeting with John and Governor Jameson. But he never knew until he saw her."

"Wo Fat didn't know who Shelburne was?" He replied, honestly surprised that he didn't know about this.

He had so many questions in his head, and the more the Commander answered them, the more he had new questions.

"No, not until he met Doris. I still think he knew who Shelburne was, but he wanted to be sure."

Danny thought for a moment. As he thought Shelburne was Doris, Steve was his closest way to know the truth; he was her son, so he should have known something.

"That's why he trapped him in North Korea? Right?" he guessed. "It was to see if Steve knew that Shelburne was indeed her mother, huh?"

As he got no answer from Joe, he grabbed his neck again, pinning him back to the wall in order to make him talk. Why was it so easy to have information from a heavily-trained but retired NavySEAL? Was it because he was worried about Steve? Was it because he had no choice?

"Huh?!" He repeated, angry.

"I think so", Joe simply affirmed before detailing his answer. "John had been studying Shelburne for years, and Steve inherited all this information. He was well placed to know everything about Shelburne. But he got nothing from him, as you can imagine."

"Then why he didn't kill her when he knew that Shelburne and Doris were the same woman? Mh? You said so, she abandoned him, he sought revenge."

"Because deep down, he couldn't kill the woman who raised him, the one he considered as her own mother."

"That's why? That's why she protected Wo Fat? That's why?!"

"She protected him because he lost his two parents. She always blamed herself for what happened, for having killed a new mother. She raised him as her own. You have a little girl, detective, how far would you go to protect her? She did what she thought was right."

"If what was right is lying to her own son, then yes!" Danny screamed.

"She only wanted to protect her children. And she begged me not to tell them anything, especially to Steve."

Doris was as guilty as Joe on that occasion: she had hidden this story from Steve for years, she faked her own death, she inflicted this to her husband and two children, letting them mourn her. She sort of abandoned them too. She could have made another choice, but no. She did all this. She created Wo Fat. She created the man who almost killed Steve on numerous occasion, the man who tortured him twice and damaged him physically and mentally. She did this. He tried to pull himself together, closing his eyes as he emptied his mind to regain control of his breathing and calm his anger.

"You know what's happening right now?" He started in a less calm tone. "Steve is sinking because of this. Wo Fat drugged and tortured him for an information he surely didn't have."

Joe thought. Steve, the best sailor he had trained over the years, was slipping? That was unusual. Keeping that in mind, he tried to find an explanation for Wo Fat's behavior. The first time, in North Korea, was to confirm the fact that Shelburne was Doris McGarrett. He had that information when he captured Steve for the second time, so what did he want? It was certainly related to Shelburne, something he surely asked Doris already but she might have told him that she didn't know about that. Something no one could know, even Steve's mother. There was only one possibility.

"He maybe wanted to know where his father is", he finally said after thirty seconds.

"His father?"

"Yes, his father. He'd been captured during the attack and he's locked up somewhere ever since."

"You know where?" Danny simply asked him.

"Unfortunately, I can't tell you more because I don't know more. I know it is a CIA prison highly secured, but I don't know where this prison is."

Okay, it was Danny's time to think. Joe's story was matching what Steve had told him. If Wo Fat had lied to him, then Joe White should surely not have the same storytelling, right? Maybe for once, he said the truth.

"Okay", he finally sighed. "Let's say that I believe you. Why did Wo Fat want to find his father? And why the CIA wanted him dead?"

"Yao Fat, Wo Fat's father, was the head of the Yakuza's drug trafficking on the Asian Continent and above. He had enough information and mean to kill the big boss, and it would have created too much instability, leading to a possible global gang war. In fact, it could even have triggered a third world war. Killing Yao Fat would have weakened the Yakuza for a while, but it was less dangerous than letting him do his business. But the rest of this story is classified and I don't have any access to that information. And I don't know how Wo Fat had managed to know that he was still alive, nor why he wanted to see him. I swear, detective, I told you everything I know."

And it was true. Joe had said everything he knew about Wo Fat and his family. Danny released his grip, letting the retired SEAL breathe better, the left side of his face still aching after the blow at the beginning of their discussion. More than a one-way discussion, more than questions needed answers, which he gave. He was amazed at himself. Joe White sighed, facing the Jersey native one again.

"Now, please tell me where is Steve?"

Danny frowned, shaking his head from side to side. Unbelievable...

"You're still worried about him despite all your lies?"

"I raised Steve since he's sixteen, I've trained him to become a NavySEAL, I was his CO, I deployed him overseas for about eighteen years, so yes. I am worried about him."

He was right. After John McGarrett had flown Steve and Mary over the mainland, Joe had raised him until he was old enough to sign up in the Navy. And even after that, he stayed close to him, training him, turning him into the man he was today; a man of confidence whom Danny was ready to protect with his own life, which Steve would also do in return if the roles were reversed. Of course, he was worried about him, even after his lies. He needed to know how Steve was. He looked down, gathering his strength to tell him the whole truth about their man.

"Steve... As I said, he's been drugged and tortured. He killed Wo Fat before he could shoot him in the head. And before that, they fought pretty hard. He has a moderate concussion from the gunshot wound to the head, several cracked ribs, his heart is still beating irregularly because of numerous electric shocks and he had water into his lungs because of waterboarding, but that's the physical part. I..."

He stopped for a moment. Maybe it was something insignificant. He had never seen Steve in such a bad shape, especially after having been tortured. Maybe it was his process? Maybe it was the time for him to cope with everything he did to survive, what he had done to stay alive?

"I'm more concerned about his mental shape", he finally admitted.

"What do you mean?" Joe asked, concerned.

"I don't know, he... It's like he's not here, like he... He has nightmares, waking up thinking that he's still back there."

Joe raised his head while closing his eyes. Danny noticed this new features on the Commander right away. He knew sometimes he didn't know.

"You know what's happening, don't you?"

He sighed, looking down again. He slightly nodded.

"I'm afraid I do."

"Tell me more. And I don't care if it's classified or whatever, I want to know what's happening to my best friend. Do you understand?"

Their gazes met; Danny was determined to discover the truth. He wanted to do everything to understand what was happening in his friend's mind, his brother. Understanding one's past was the key to understanding what he was going through now. What was bothering him already was the fact that he kept it all to himself after all these years when he could have talked to him. Both partners trusted each other, so why had he never talked about what he had experienced while deployed overseas? Most of his missions were still classified. But still: he couldn't give details, he could have just shared his emotions, something. Anything.

"Very well. I can't tell you when or where, no the name of this operation though", Joe White complained before starting his speech. "A few years ago, Steve was leading an operation. The aim was to eliminate a dormant terrorist group wishing to attack US soil."

"Al-Qaïda?" Danny asked calmly, which is weird because he already knew that he wouldn't have any answer from the Commander.

"I can neither confirm nor deny. You know the rules, detective. Anyway, they were ready to attack when they fell into an ambush. Eleven NavySEAL died and the rest of them was captured."

"Let me guess. Steve was one of them."

"Indeed. We did our best to find them, we put all our resources on that mission for days, weeks. After nine weeks, we had an intel about where they were held. So we organized a mission to bring them back home. It was ugly. They had been tortured, drugged, starved. Five SEAL had been captured, only two survived. Steve and... Let's call him Jesse."

That was unbearable to hear. Steve, badly tortured like this? He couldn't help but have images of the whole operation. He could only imagine the Hell of that ambush; Steve losing his men one after another, being captured with four of his fellows after a surely long battle. He couldn't help but grin when he thought about the torture. He shook his head, speechless. Steve had been through Hell, and it undoubtedly wasn't his first time nor his last one. What a man.

"They were so weak that when they understood it was all over, they were unable to breathe on their own. Our doctors immediately placed them into a medically induced coma in order to protect their body and strengthen them enough before thinking about waking them up. After a week, we stopped the sedation and once awaken, they gave us as much detail as possible about their sequestration."

Danny Williams swallowed hard, still having some images in his head. It was a nightmare. A real nightmare. He had undergone all this and never said anything about this? Talking about this to his CO in order to understand the situation and make a report had probably been a very difficult thing for both survivors. Especially since they knew that eleven of their comrades had been killed during the ambush and that three others had not survived their nine weeks in Hell.

"It should have been hard to hear and tell", Danny guessed, seeing that even Joe was having trouble to explain all this to him.

"According to what they told us, I don't even know how they managed to survive" he admitted to the Detective's surprise. "These SOB had used the worst physical and psychological ways to torture them in order to have information, which they didn't give as you can guess."

For the third time, Danny collected all the information he had just obtained and formed a semblance of a story. Steve was leading an operation that quickly turned into a survival mission to a terrorist group that tortured them for weeks in order to obtain any information they ultimately didn't have.

"Okay, so the link between today and this story is the way they got tortured?" The detective wondered, not sure what all this meant.

"No, far from that... When they got cleared to leave the hospital, we sent them home. Steve came back to Hawaii and Jesse to his parents. Three days later, we had a call from the local police reporting us that Jesse shot himself and let a letter saying that he could no longer bear the fact that he had survived and that he should have died during that ambush."

Gosh... His eyes grew wide, thinking about this. If a heavily-trained NavySEAL could bear the fact of having survived this, what about Steve now that he was on his own?

"Steve... Steve is the only survivor?"

"Yes", Joe nodded. "When we told him about Jesse; he was angry. I've never seen him that angry, even after years raising him. He came back on active duty after two weeks and asked for a new deployment where he had almost been killed. We are all trained to overcome physical and mental torture, to overcome the deaths of comrades, friends and family. But what Steve had just gone through was beyond everything we knew. We let him go back there, because his mission was not over, meaning destroying the terrorist group. We knew we wouldn't be able to stop him before it was all over. And after four weeks investigating, he did it; he killed them to the last, in cold blood. I had never seen anything similar before, in any of our soldiers."

Emotions began to take the detective to the throat. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Steve had really been through Hell numerous time for sure. No wonder why he had all these medals and ribbons on his uniform. No wonder why most of his missions were classified; he was one damn best SEAL and his superiors knew that. Steve wasn't the kind of guy giving up and that was a good thing where he had been deployed.

"When the mission was over, Steve sunk into depression for a while. He had nightmares, he stopped eating properly and all. It was like he stopped living. That's when I realized how Steve worked after all these years."

Danny frowned, not understanding what Joe meant. He didn't know how Steve processed everything he did in the Navy or since he was the head of the 5-0 Task Force.

"How?"

"The terrorist group had killed all his men. His only wish was to find them and kill them. Once done, he had no purpose anymore and he released all the pressure he had accumulated. Let's say that he became human again, if I can use your own term. If an average man had experienced what he'd been through, he would have sunk into depression, and that's what happened with Steve. He struggled to fight back in shape, but he was supported by his friends and family, it helped him and gave him a new goal."

Now, he understood; Steve's process was to overcome the ordeal he had just lived with his family and friends. He might not be saying anything, but just being with them allowed him to give himself an ultimate goal; to be there for those whom he cherished, feeling that he was part of a whole while remaining who he was was what he needed. No need to know his past, the mere fact of being there so that he could remain anchored in the present and write his future was enough to heal his soul and his body.

"Detective, you have to promise me to not tell anything to Steve about what I just told you. He's the one who should tell you his story. Like you said, I already lied to him. I should have told you everything, and you know that."

Danny nodded, approaching Joe White once again. Fearing something about the detective becoming angry again, he stepped back, frowning. He couldn't see any anger in his eyes. Like he was at peace. Of course, he could see how all this information had shaken Danny, but he had asked him the truth. A truth he shouldn't have confessed to, but the detective deserved to know everything. He was probably the only one able to understand and help Steve, and the only way to get there was to know everything.

"Listen", Danny started, pulling himself together. "I know you've raised Steve like he was your own son. I do. But now more than ever, I think that your presence would only make things worse. He is angry with you, he's blaming you terribly for having lied to him after all this time, he felt betrayed."

he took a deep breath, not knowing what to say or what to do. What he knew was that Joe White was the last person Steve would want to see right now.

"I can't thank you enough for telling me everything about Steve's story and Wo Fat. But, as his next of kin, I will ask you not to come close to him. Not until he feels good again."


	4. Answers

**Hello dear readers! here is the fourth chapter of this story, and I really hope you will appreciate it. There will be two other chapters; the last one will be the epilogue and will be shorter than the five previous chapter. It will also link with the beginning of the episode following Steve's rescue, season 5 episode 8.**

 **I also did my best to improve my writing and make shorter paragraphs, because I know that big paragraphs are sometimes boring and as a reader just like you, we often zap them and start over a shorter one or where there are dialogues.**

 **Please, as usual, leave me some reviews about your thoughts on this chapter ^^**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 _"I can't thank you enough for telling me everything about Steve's story and Wo Fat. But, as his next of kin, I will ask you not to come close to him. Not until he feels good again."_

Joe accepted the decision made by Danny not without difficulty. But he too knew that meeting him today would not be a good idea. Now that this whole story with Wo Fat was over, he realized how bad he had been wrong all along. Steve was the strongest man he knew, the soldier he trained and trusted most. And most importantly, he could probably have faced all this information without flinching, without being shaken. He was the best physically and mentally to endure everything, and for the first time in his life, the newly retired Commander White regretted what he had done. Even though he had no choice but to lie to the man he considered his own son, he hardly dared to imagine the pain that Steve had endured all those years as he learned how the man he saw as his mentor had lied to him from the beginning.

Treason. It was the only word that came to his mind. Having lied to the person he trusted most, hiding from him that his mother never died in that car accident for nearly twenty years, keeping secret the connection between Shelburne and Doris, then between Wo Fat, Doris and him. All this was too much. Steve was right to be mad at him, and he couldn't blame him. There would come a day when he would have to face the Commander for further explanations, where he would also face his mother for these same clarifications. But today was not a good time, far from it. McGarrett had to focus on his healing and had to sort through what he had learned, pull himself together and move on. From what the detective had just told him, it wouldn't be all sunshine and roses, but he never doubted that he would be there for his best friend.

"You are right, Detective Williams. Steve is not in any mood to face me right now. He will need time to process."

"Thank you. But before we get out of this room, let's summarize what we have, shall we? Because I'm not sure to have understood everything."

"Tell me what you think is right, and I'll tell you", Joe assured.

"Alright. Wo Fat knew from day one that Shelburne killed his father. Although it appeared that his mom died instead and his father became a prisoner. Right?"

"Indeed."

"So he tracked down Shelburne when he was old enough, I guess? Trained as a secret Chinese Agent to have all the necessary abilities, the contacts and all? He made an alliance with the Yakuza."

"You're totally right for now."

"Okay. After some time, he was close of discovering who Shelburne was, and as Doris knew that he would kill everyone in his path, she faked her own death in order to protect her husband and their two children, Steve and Mary. That sounds suspicious for me."

"She raised Wo Fat, she knew that he would have stopped his vendetta in order to mourn her. He considered Doris as his own mother."

"So she thought... What... That she would have time to kill or stop Wo Fat before he could have a chance to discover who Shelburne was or kill her family?"

"That was the plan, yes. It was to gather enough information about Wo Fat to put him in jail. But as you can guess, he was pretty clever and thorough."

"Alright. As he was... _Mourning_ Doris, he discovers that her husband is one of the best cops in Hawaii and decided to ask him for an investigation about Shelburne? Is that it?"

"I don't know. I think so. That would fit the whole story. There's no way John would have found this name on his own. I didn't give it to him, I am sure Doris didn't either because otherwise, he would have known that his wife was Shelburne. Wo Fat was the only one able to give this name to him."

"Okay, so he starts investigating, probably finding some dirty cops at the same time. As Wo Fat was a friend of Governor Jameson and John was a friend too, they met several times. I guess after some time, John suspected Wo Fat and Jameson to be dirty as well?"

"Probably, maybe that's why Wo Fat wanted him dead."

"But John had information about Shelburne, Wo Fat needed him, so what changed his mind?"

"The Hesse's brother", Joe firmly assured.

"What about them?" Danny asked, frowning because he didn't know what Joe meant.

"Steve, John's son was after them, and they were close to the Yakuza and Wo Fat. I guess the latter hired them for his dirty task. I am pretty sure Wo Fat organized everything from now on. Steve was deployed somewhere, tracking down some terrorists I guess, and they asked him on a black op in North Korea in order to capture Anton Hesse. I am confident that Wo Fat knew it would happen and asked Viktor to fly in Oahu and interrogate John about Shelburne. He knew that Viktor would do everything to free his brother and that Steve would also do everything in order to free his father.

"Okay, so maybe the deal was: you release Anton and I release your father?"

"Yes, but it didn't go as planned, as you can guess. Viktor tracked down Steve's signal in order to free his brother. What he surely didn't expect was that Steve was resourceful and he accidentally killed Anton in the process."

"And that accident killed Stev's father. I am sure Wo Fat didn't expect that one."

"I don't think so. After that event, Steve inherited John's investigation about Shelburne and his wife's death."

"So he was the only one able to answer Wo Fat's question. That's why he captured him in North Korea."

"Yes."

"But he didn't know anything at the time, right?"

"I know I should have told him everything, but against Wo Fat, I had no choice in order to save his life. If he knew something, Wo Fat would have known and we would have never found Steve after that."

"Okay, stop. Uh... If Steve knew who was Shelburne, you are really sure that Wo Fat would have done everything to have this information?"

"For sure. Instead of killing him. He is Doris' son, he surely wouldn't have killed him, he respected Doris too much for that."

"That crazy. Let's say it is true, okay? Steve capture him in Japan, sent him back to Hawaii and met Shelburne, who appeared to be his mother."

"You're 100% right."

"They came back together in Hawaii but Wo Fat escaped. Delano informed him that Shelburne is in Oahu and went to the safe house. He faced Shelburne for the first time with the intention of killing her but realized that it was Doris. Why he didn't kill her?"

"As I told you sooner, he had too much respect for her. He couldn't harm her. I guess he didn't expect that. He realized that she surely felt guilty about the operation that had killed both his parents and that was why she raised him? Seeking for forgiveness?"

"So he ran away, and Doris covered him. He got informed that his father was still alive, so he captured Steve, _again_ , for information?"

"That's my best guess, indeed. He probably asked Doris when she visited him back in Colorado and she said she didn't know. Steve became the only one able to answer his new questions."

"So he abducted him, tortured and drugged him in order to have that information Steve surely didn't have?"

"That's what I think, yes."

"So Steve managed to free himself, they fought and they tried to kill each other. Steve did, but Wo Fat just grazed him."

"I think you have the entire story, detective. I gave you everything I have, and that's not another lie."

Danny wondered if Wo Fat was indeed a terrible shooter or if he didn't it on purpose. Maybe he needed to be killed by the man seeking revenge for his father's death and Doris' attempted murder? Or it was pure luck for Steve?

"I promise you one thing though. I never meant to endanger Steve, that's why I said nothing for a long time. I only wanted to protect him and his family. Now that Wo Fat is dead, I am sure that he will ask numerous questions and he will be in need of answers. But please, do not answer them. Doris and I should be the ones answering his questions, no offense. When he will be ready."

"Alright. I will tell him nothing. I guess he will ask if Wo Fat was telling the truth about Doris, so what should I tell him about it? He'll know for sure that I am lying, you know?"

"Then, tell him the truth about that. That Wo Fat was indeed raised by her mother before she retired and met his father and had the life he knew."

Danny thought about it for a long time. He never liked lying to Steve, because he was the kind of guy seeking for the truth no matter what. He would know that he lied to him and he would be angry with him for that.

"Okay. But if he asks anything else and I know the answer, I won't be able to hide the truth, you do realize this?"

"Do your best, detective. We need to give him these answers."

They parted like this, separating in the emergency room. Joe White was leaving the building to go to his car and leave for the umpteenth time while Danny had to sort out what he had just heard. He sighed; his sweaty hands were still shaking because of the anger that had invaded him as soon as the retired NavySEAL appeared in his field of vision. A black anger he had not managed to contain. He was happy to have put his fist on the face of this man he had never trusted. But _de facto_ , Steve was willing to put his life at risk for him so he had no choice but to follow him, reluctantly of course. All kinds of images came to mind; images he had memorized, moments he was trying to imagine. Blackness visions ready to freeze one's blood.

Hardly, one step after another despite his jelly legs, he walked to the coffee machine. He searched in his pockets a piece or two, at least enough to have a moment of relaxation before coming back to his friend. He needed to stay out of the way to sort out all of this. Finally finding a dollar, he tried to insert it in the space provided for this purpose, in vain. His hands were shaking so much that he couldn't keep it and it fell to the ground, slamming on the tiles. Smothering a groan and a swore, he knelt down to bring it back to his right hand. He was on the nerves, ready to break down. After two unsuccessful attempts, he finally ordered a coffee, which he would probably find miserable and disgusting, like all the coffees coming from any hospital, but he needed it.

He sat down in a corner, away from everyone, his empty gaze resting somewhere in the gaping and noisy room. He didn't know what to think, or what to do with his best friend. He didn't know how to comfort him, which words to choose in order to appease him. He was lost. Swallowing a lot of the hot liquid, the images of Steve's release came back to him; the two simultaneous gunshots that all thought of being one, the door opening and the horror vision when he saw his soul brother lying on the soiled ground completely inert with a gun landing in his right hand. The only words he could utter at that time were a repetition of "you're alright". Nothing was alright. Steve had been tortured, drugged, tormented by Wo Fat, his worst enemy, for information he didn't and probably would never have. How had he dared to say to the man who had nearly died that everything was fine, that he was alright? He wasn't, far from it.

* * *

Steve woke up for the third time in a few hours, this time more calmly. At least, that was what he thought in the first place. A calm, steady noise was singing in the depths of his ears. A fresh and more than welcomed wind was running through his nostrils and airways, dancing down into his bruised lungs. A bracelet came to disturb his right arm, tightening his grip regularly to the point of having ticklings in his fingers before releasing its pressure. He felt something clipped on his finger, something he could not determine. The top of his right hand was also bothering him, especially what was attached to it. He didn't know what, but terrible images came back to him.

Surpassing his massive headache and cold sensation settling in him, he let them invade his mind. This woman who had shot him in his own car and drugged him to take him he-didn't-know-where. His awakening in this blank and macabre room, watching videos of him younger with his family, his father, mother and sister, taking a misunderstanding look on this video of a report made during his mother's car accident. His fight against this orange fluid that had been injected into him and that had very quickly made him fall into blackness. Wo Fat. The torture. The water dripping on the towel slammed violently on his face and entering his mouth and lungs as he tried to breathe. The needle entering his flesh in his neck. And another one. The incessant electric shocks to make him say a vital information for his enemy, information that he had never heard of. He didn't even know that Wo Fat's father was still alive. Or maybe he believed he was?

But he never stopped. And without his warrior temperament, he would not be here today. Wo Fat had said he didn't want to kill him, he had not hesitated for a second to stick a bullet in his head. Maybe it was to protect himself from him, maybe he was scared of Steve and at that moment, his only way to possibly stay alive was to fire? The only way he had found to stay alive had been to fight. Even if it would have cost him his life, he had given everything he had so that this would never happen... Not without difficulty, he had managed to beat this woman before she could inject him anything. He had made up his death by strangulation before Wo Fat came back and discovered the trick. He knew from the start that it would surely be his last fight against him, against the one who called him _his brother_ , who called Doris _his mother_. He had no right to call her that way. Doris was not his mother. She had raised him, it stopped there. End of the story.

Despite all these hard-to-live pictures, something made him come out of his inner world. Something, someone had touched him. A hand. Fingers touching his skin and giving him chills. He, who hadn't dared to move for many minutes now, made a movement; he frowned, turning his head slightly towards the source of this unwanted touch. But in no case did he open his eyes. Passively, he let this hand go through him, waiting for it to make a mistake in order to surprise it. He didn't really know where he was. He remembered his conversation with Danny but in his condition, he wasn't sure if it was the reality or if he was still in this moldy and damp room. He didn't know where he was. And suddenly, he felt the mistake happen. This hand of a gentleness that he found repulsive committed the irreparable.

He had foreseen it, premeditated it. He had seen it make a mistake but not this one. He did not expect that; a simple approach to his left temple had sent him such a strong pain signal that he had decided to open his eyes suddenly to face the person who had just touched him without authorization. And he didn't like that, that made him horny. In a gesture of self-defense, he gripped that hand by the wrist, squeezing his grip tightly. A sudden cry of fear and surprise caught the person's throat in front of Steve. Their eyes met: it was Nurse Kala, who had come to change the bandages of his patient. She quite didn't expect the Commander to have such strength and even less the ability to fight against her. It was her mistake; apart from the IV replacing his fluids and giving him nutrients, Steve had no drugs in his bloodstream, not even a trace of sedative. Some residues of truth serum and hallucinogen but insufficient to knock him out. But he didn't see her as a nurse; rather like an intruder coming to invade his private life. And most importantly, she looked almost exactly like that woman. And that sight brought him back into this room, enough to make him lose all contact with reality.

"Commander, you're alright. You're al-"

She never had time to finish her sentence, she found herself thrown to the ground violently. Without realizing it, Steve had lost his mind, tirelessly reliving the scene that had caused him so much pain; this woman having lent allegiance to Wo Fat who had injected him, again and again, a substance he knew too well and he remembered the ill effects. He couldn't control himself. Especially in the absence of the only thing that allowed him to keep his feet on the ground, his anchor on the present. He had stood up, ready to fight for his survival, as if in the middle of a trance. Again. He was ready to kill, as a good soldier he was. The nurse, Kala had turned to him immediately, her eyes lost and frightened. She too was a soldier in the army, but she had never seen a soldier so mentally touched. _He must have had lived some very bad things_ , she thought. She didn't even dare to straighten, she didn't even try to move any of her muscles. She had even stopped breathing as fear paralyzed her. And finally, a voice. A cry of terror that tore his soul, a voice which swept all these images in his head in a split second. A lament he couldn't deny.

* * *

After about twenty minutes without moving from where he was seated, drinking his infamous coffee and thinking back to everything that had happened, Danny cleared his mind, getting rid of all the negative thoughts and all those horrible images that jazzed up in his mind. He inhaled for a long time and exhaled for four seconds, something Steve had taught him in order to control his fears and keep a calm breath. It was not easy, but he did it. He stood up, tossing his plastic cup into the trash, and headed back to his friend's room. His legs had at least stopped shaking, it was a good thing. He stopped in front of the door, taking a breath of fresh air before knocking lightly on the door. No answer. Maybe Steve was still sleeping? It wouldn't have been surprising after the physical and mental shocks he had just received; his body needed rest. He placed his hand on the handle and opened the door. He tried to smile, in case his best friend was awake and entered the room.

His fake smile broke down in a split second. His eyes grew as fast as his smile faded. Before him, a vision of horror. The nurse taking care of Steve since his admission was on the ground, shaking all over. The NavySEAL was almost on her, slowly moving towards Kala, his eyes black and empty. What had happened? He himself was paralyzed, unable to utter a single word, his voice completely cut off. Steve's look said a lot. Danny knew that he was ready for everything now, even to kill. He had been disturbed, he was out of his mind. He had to do something and quickly before he could commit the irreparable. He opened his mouth, trying to expel the air he had accumulated in his lungs to form a word. Only one came out.

"Steve!"

This single word stopped him, this voice filled with fright seemingly transfixing his best friend's brain. His look changed suddenly, from pure hatred to that of a child completely lost. His lips parted, an unsteady breath coming out of his mouth. From where Danny was, he could see drops of cold sweat running down his face as he frowned. The excess of adrenaline that his body had just injected into his bloodstream to respond to the false attack quickly dissipated. The fatigue and surprise of seeing himself in this hospital room, safe and sound, hit him hard. His legs, trembling after these sudden movements, gave way.

"Steve!" he repeated, rushing over him.

Soon, he grabbed his arm, not to scare him but to keep him from falling to the ground with an unpleasant thud while the nurse was stuck to the floor, still unable to move. Not without difficulty, he helped him to sit on the bed, his eyes still unfocused, his breathing still laborious, as if he had just woken up when he was in the middle of a nightmare.

"You alright?"

This time, his gaze focused on something. On someone. The gray of Steve's eyes met the blue of his, and they both understood each other. Without a verbal exchange, Danny knew that he had just relived a painful experience, and Steve had assimilated the fact that he had nothing to fear. What he was living now was real, he could feel it from the depths of his being. He had indeed killed Wo Fat and this woman whose name he didn't even know, his team had really come to save him and get him out of this Hell. Everything was really over now.

"Yeah", he managed to utter, sighing.

Hesitant, he stared at Steve's for a few seconds before returning his attention to Kala, still frozen on the floor. The detective knelt before her, taking her slightly by surprise as he saw her jump.

"You are fine?" he asked, extending his hand to her in order to help her up.

She didn't dare to answer, moving her left hand towards Danny's so that she could take a stand to get back on her feet.

"Yes, a little shaken, but I'm okay," she said with her most beautiful smile.

Danny immediately noticed that it was fake. This mania in the military and marine to lie like that when everything was not okay...

"What happened?" the police officer whispered, trying to figure out what could have put Steve in this state.

"I... I really don't know", the nurse hesitated. "I was changing his bandages when he grabbed my wrist and... He threw me to the ground."

Danny straightened slightly, taking a deep breath; he thought he understood. Steve didn't like being approached or touched, let alone when he was not in his normal state. The dressing change could very well have bothered him? No, it was not just that; the nurse had already changed the bandages while he was asleep, so what could have changed?

"What dressing were you changing?"

"Well... It only remained the bandage on his temple. I think."

Danny had just discovered the cause of this whole story. The gunshot wound. It had been powerful enough to make him suffer and trigger this excess of madness, even in someone as in control as Steve.

"I did something wrong?"

"You must understand that he was shot to the head, by someone who killed his father and almost killed his mother, his sister, and himself. So that pain in his temple because of the shot... "

"I understood, it triggered his anger."

"It was not against you, it could have happened to anyone, even to me", he tried to reassure her, still muttering.

"But I should have known; I'm a soldier. I know all this."

"Don't blame yourself, okay? I'm sure Steve is as bad as you about this misfortune", he finally assured. "I'll talk to him, he'll let you change the dressings after that."

Danny smiled, leaving the nurse alone when he turned around to face Steve. The conversation lasted a few minutes, during which Danny managed to convince Steve to let the nurse change the last bandage. The detective assured him that Kala would do her best to not hurt him, but obviously, he had some apprehensions after what had happened. She approached him, delicately removing the bandage from his temple, exposing the future scar and stitches. Danny could count them easily as they were visible. There were eight sutures, including three on the scalp. She carefully cleaned the area, applying a local antiseptic before placing a new gauze on the area, gently tapped to secure it. She faked a new smile, checking all Steve's vitals again and writing them down the files at the end of the bed. She then left the two friends alone.

"You weren't there...", Steve suddenly said after a long silence, startling Danny.

"Yeah, I was, uh... Out for a coffee. I was there for hours, I needed to stretch my legs."

It wasn't a real lie. He did get out of the room to grab a coffee and to stretch his legs. But Steve had immediately noticed this lie.

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not. I really got out of there to have a coffee, to the vending machine. It is disgusting by the way."

"Your nostrils are flaring when you lie. And they did when you talked about the _stretching legs_."

"Really?"

Steve suddenly laughed when Danny tried to see if his best friend was messing with him or if he was telling the truth to figure out whether he was indeed lying or not.

"You were lying, weren't you?"

"Fine. I'll tell you, but please. Don't be mad at me."

"You would have to something really, really stupid for me to be mad at you", Steve assured.

Both Danny and Steve knew the temperament of the latter, which was the main concern of this half-a-lie.

"Alright", the detective surrendered. "I... I talked to Joe."

Uh oh, he shouldn't have said that. Steve gave him _THE_ look, a black eye filled with anger.

"What?!"

"See? You're mad at me."

"It would be stupid to not be mad at you right now, Danny! Joe lied to me enough!"

"And that's the reason why I wanted to talk to him."

The NavySEAL stared at his partner attentively, finding the least clue leading to whether he was lying or not.

"I know you don't like when someone lies to you. That's why I will tell you about this."

Danny took a deep breath, trying to find the words he should use to calm his partner while explaining the situation.

"I punched him. In the face", he admitted, almost proud of himself.

Soon, Steve frowned, surprised.

"What? Why did you do this?"

"Because he lied to you all these years, Steve. And because I wanted to from the first time I saw him", he explained with a smile. "You have to tell me how you managed to not punch him."

"So, you asked him to talk to you, but instead you punched him?"

"No. That, that was the first part. After that, I asked for answers. I promised that if there was any more lie, I would kill him, so..."

Steve sighed, closing his eyes.

"You do realize that you talked to a heavily-trained NavySEAL, right?"

"A _retired_ heavily-trained NavySEAL", Danny corrected. "Besides, you know me enough; my word is my bond."

Of course. Steve knew Danny too well. He knew he would do it without an ounce of hesitation if he felt betrayed.

"What was that talk about then?"

"I uh... I wanted to know why Wo Fat did this."

"You really think he would tell you everything? He lied to me about this for years and you think you can make him talk?"

"Well, _IF_ he didn't lie to me, then I know the whole truth."

"Unbelievable..."

Steve couldn't believe what he just heard. He tried for years to have answers, only to have more questions and no answers anyway. But Danny had everything he wanted with just a chat?

"He sais that I would be the only one able to help you. That's why he gave me everything I wanted. Everything _you_ wanted to know."

Danny took a deep breath, trying to gather all the words he needed to face Steve and give him answers.

"Wo Fat never lied to you", he first said, catching Steve's attention. "Doris raised him until the CIA discovers the whole thing and forced her to abandon him. That's why he ordered his men to kill your father, why he tried to kill you and your sister."

Steve had always feared this answer. Deep down, he knew everything about this; it should have had some kind of connexion with his mother and her job as a CIA agent. Of course, he knew. But he wished it wasn't true.

"That's also why your mother faked her own death. Her gesture put her family in jeopardy, and she had to protect all of you from Wo Fat. She flew out to Japan and took the name of Shelburne. When Wo Fat got you in North Korea, it was to confirm or deny his theory. He thought Shelburne was Doris, and he needed a confirmation. As you inherited your father's investigation, he thought you were his best shot."

Steve pulled the pieces together. That's why her mother cried sometimes. He said nothing at the time, but he saw her many times wiping her tears away. It was because of Wo Fat. And with North Korea? It was to know whether or not his mother was Shelburne. But he didn't have a clue back there. And he lied to Wo Fat about Joe not knowing either. God, he was so wrong.

"Question. Why Wo Fat kidnapped you this time?"

"He... He wanted to know where his father was. I didn't know he was still alive."

"Joe's theory was right then."

Surprised, Steve raised his head, looking Danny straight in the eyes.

"Which is?"

"He thought that this abduction was in order to know where his father was. He thought you knew."

"I don't."

"I know. I know you don't. Relax. _If_ Joe is telling the truth, he's held in a highly-secured CIA prison, but he doesn't know where. Classified apparently, and he doesn't have any access to that information."

"Okay. Let's say that Joe didn't lie for once. Why he lied to me about all this."

"He said he wanted to protect you and he promised Doris to not talk to you about this."

"So, technically, she lied to me too."

He was so tired of this. So tired. Why people always lied to him? He was a grown-up man, he could deal with such information.

"I asked him something else", Danny admitted after a few seconds.

"About what?" he asked, surprised and concerned.

"I asked him if he knew... Well. You have to understand, I've never seen you in such a physical and mental weakness, alright? I thought he knew something about this."

Steve's eyes changed in a second from a questioning look to a serious one.

"What did he say to you?"

"He remained vague. He just told me a story, but he never said when or where it was, nor the name of the operation. He said that it was up to you to tell me."

Steve knew it was another lie, as his nostrils flared again. But this time, he didn't mind. Because as hard as it was for him to talk about it, Danny found it hard too. He knew him too well; it was classified, something he shouldn't know about. But what he liked the most was the fact that Danny was probably never going to push him in order to explain to him a second time what was his process to face this kind of situation.

"Thanks for lying to me on that one", he said, smiling.

"You know, I won't push you to tell me about it. Never. But I want you to know that no matter what, I will be at your side, ready to listen to your story. And whenever you need to talk, day or night, I will be there."

No flaring nostrils from Danny. Steve knew; it wasn't a lie.


	5. Where to find me

**FINALLY ANOTHER CHAPTER! It was hard for me to write it because I hadn't had much time these past days. Not at all actually. I hope you'll like this chapter though ^^**

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After having spent the eleven following hours stuck in a hospital room, Steve McGarrett had been cleared by the physician to go home in one condition: someone had to stay with him for the next forty-eight hours because of the moderate concussion. Of course, Danny Williams volunteered for this uneasy task, he knew the man too well, which irritated the Commander to the highest point obviously, but it was either this or stay in bed to Tripler for the next two days, which was a solution that Steve had denied right away, preferring to bear his colleague and friend.

At the request of the detective, Chin Ho Kelly went to his partner and boss' house; fortunately, he knew how to pass all the security of the place, in order to grab clean clothes for them. It had been a secret for a long time, but Danny had left some spare clothes at Steve's house in case he didn't have time to go home to change, at the big surprise of their colleagues. But after careful consideration, it didn't seem so illogical; Danny and Steve shared a sincere and inexplicable friendship, beyond anything the Task Force group could imagine. In fact, they were ready to sacrifice everything for the other, or almost. McGarrett knew perfectly well that his daughter Grace would always go first, and that didn't bother him because he too would do everything for the one he saw as his niece, his Gracie.

After a long and agonic another hour for Steve, he was finally released and had been driven home by Danny. The latter wanted to see his friend rest, at least a little, but he couldn't stay almost locked up in his own house. He felt like trapped, especially after what he'd been through. So, he decided to get out on the beach and seat on one of those chairs landing on the sand. He needed some fresh air. He looked at the horizon, the two blues of the sky and the sea blending together to become almost one. The sun blinded him, but his warmth felt good on his skin, so he didn't care a bit. Feeling the warmth, the wind, watching what soothed him most in his moments of intense distress, it was his way of feeling fully alive. He took a deep breath, the salty air of the sea irritating the inside of his nostrils. He felt movement near him, but he did not move, his instinct telling him what it was. Danny. His best friend, his heart brother. He had always been there for him despite their constant arguments. He didn't admit it aloud, but his presence reinforced his desire to stay safe. Near him, he felt really safe and sound, he could relax his alertness and lower his defenses. Strangely, he had never felt that before. Not even with Joe. Not even with Catherine. Not even with a member of his own family. But with Danny, it was different. Everything was different. Certainly, he could not share everything with him, because it meant revealing classified information and possibly endangering national security.

But Danny had the right to know. He owed him the truth. Without revealing everything to him of course, but at least enough for him to understand why he had so much trouble moving on what he had just lived.

"Hum..."

Surprised by this sound, Danny raised his head and met Steve's confused gaze.

"What is it, babe?"

Babe. That was how Danny nicknamed Steve when he needed the most. No wonder why everybody kept asking them how long they'd been married. But it didn't bother Steve, just like the detective didn't bother being called Danno. Even Amber never called him that way, only his daughter and his partner. Yeah, Steve was struggling about something, but he didn't know how to bring up the topic.

"Talk to me. You know you can trust me, right?"

Weakly, Steve nodded, his eyes still filled with confusion. He swallowed and took a deep breath. He didn't know where to start, but he had to.

"Joe... He really told you about... About this operation?" He hesitantly asked.

For him, even if it was many years ago, it remained a very painful memory. It was a classified operation at the time, and it still was now, but what he couldn't believe was the fact that his mentor had talked about it with Danny. He lied to him so many times, but he talked about it with a civilian with no clearance. But weirdly, on the other side, he was relieved. It was something he had learned to keep for himself and bury deep in his soul over time. Today, it was different; he felt like a weight too heavy to lift, as if he needed to talk to someone now. Someone who knew what he had been through, but he couldn't even talk about it with Joe or anyone else from his team because he was the last remaining soldier of that operation. And if White had talked about it with Danny, a man and a friend whom he could trust him with his life, he could talk to him and relieve his mind a bit. Some kind of friendly psychotherapy.

He remembered these painful memories the detective had shared with him when a bomb was targetting Danny, when he needed to stay still in order to keep the bomb stable; this story in which his colleagues died the day of the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center; this story in which he decided to call his daughter Grace in tribute to this same coworker. But Steve had never shared one of his painful story with him, aside from the faked-dead-mom story, but it didn't count.

"He uh... He told me not much, just enough to understand you better, but he didn't tell me everything."

Danny hesitated for a while. The retired NavySEAL had, in reality, told him a big part of this operation, but deep down he knew that Joe had hidden a lot about it.

"He... He thought it would be better if it comes from you."

That was true. In order to understand what Steve had been through, he had to have his point of view about this operation. But he didn't want to force him if he wasn't ready. Especially when he perfectly knew that Hell was a vacation place compared to this situation. He observed his friend for a while, trying to read his features, even a little. But his face was impassive, his eyes staring at the horizon. He seemed so quiet, too quiet. It was bloodcurdling. He could put his hand to the fire: he wasn't. It the depths of him, he was boiling; every fraction of memory he had of this event was devouring his soul. He felt the urgent need to tell everything, in order to relieve this feeling of being a burden because of that operation, even though he had learned to confess nothing. Never, to anyone.

"I... I've lost too much that day", he said with a trembling voice, almost lost.

Danny said nothing, still keeping a straight sight on his friend. He could see how much it was hard for him. He wanted so much to tell him that if he didn't feel ready, he could just say nothing for now, until he felt up to. But he remained silent because Steve was making the biggest effort of his life to put words on his feelings and he was sharing them with him. With him, the one he considered as a brother, the one he could trust with his life.

"We worked on this for five months, trying to dismantle a new-born terrorist group wishing to operate on the American soil", Steve started, swallowing his saliva in order to control his breathing and the images flooding his head. "Our mission was to discover the identity of all the men composing the group and eliminate the threat before they could act."

The Detective was listening very carefully, the sun blinding him from time to time while he continued to keep an eye on Steve.

"Numerous informers on the fields gave us information on each of them. When we identified the leader, we set up an operation to eliminate the threat. Sixteen NavySEAL, I included, had to participate with a support from the Naval Intelligence. We analyzed the whole path that we had to take, we mapped up the area of operation carefully and checked up any choke points, all this discreetly. A convoy of two vehicles with eight men on each one had to reach the checkpoint over twelve miles south of our target. But... We fell into an ambush."

It became hard for Steve. He had never discussed that operation to anyone but his superior when he had to debrief them. And moreover, his memory was playing tricks on him. He relived the scene as if he were there. Every second, every pain, every breath. He was no longer on his beach, sitting in his chair; he was back there, sitting in the passenger seat of the second armored convoy, watching helplessly the horror of that day. Danny had noticed that slight change of look at Steve, he knew where he was.

"A rocket hit the first vehicle", the sailor continued with his voice cut and battered.

He remembered every detail, the least smell, the least noise. The roar of the rocket hitting the vehicle, causing it to fly above the ground before crashing on the rocky road. The moment the driver of the second vehicle braked and shouted _TRAP!_ out loud. He remembered those bullets firing after that. He had bent down, calling headquarters and asking for air reinforcements at their location. He had then opened the door on his side, raising his weapon and firing at the man on the hill to the right of him. His survival mode was turned on when the rocket had hit the first vehicle.

"We were surrounded. Eight men against... At least fifty of them. We had no chance, but we decided to fight to the end. Left to die, so take in as many to the grave with us. I think that... That we killed a good dozen of them before one of us took the first bullet and fell dead stiff. I believe that ... That we killed a good dozen before one of us takes the first ball and ended dead."

He remembered that shot as if he were still there. The bullet had grazed his face before lodging in the head of the man behind him. He remembered turning around listening to the crash that his body had made when it fell to the ground, stooping to see the gravity of the situation. But the gaping hole in the middle of his forehead and his open and lifeless eyes were already telling him that his man was dead. He had then reloaded his rifle, riding a step from his vehicle to pass through the door, where previously there was a window, using the armor of the vehicle to protect himself and his comrades.

"In less than five minutes, two others SEALs died. We were running out of ammo. And... Another rocket was launched."

Danny held his breath. What he was hearing was beyond everything he had expected, but according to what he could understand, it was in a country rather unstable and known by the Americans as a terrorist country. No doubt Afghanistan. That did not surprise him since he knew he had been deployed at least four years there. He had obviously lived horrible things there. Steve could still see himself throwing himself on the ground, hear himself shouting _ROCKET!_ followed by a powerful blast not far from him. He could still see himself being propelled a few feet away because of the blast of the explosion, and the pain that followed when his body met the ground a few seconds later. Everything hurt, the slightest movement, the least breath, the slightest heartbeat. Despite his wheezing ears, he was aware of everything that was going on around him; men approaching him without being able to move an inch, gagging him and putting a thin cloth bag over his head, forcing him to stand up despite dizziness stunning him.

"We've been were taken, me and the four other members of the commando still alive. From then on, we did not know how long we would stay alive. Or if we were going to get out alive."

Steve swallowed hard once again, Danny could feel the heat rising inside of him. it wasn't coming from the sun, not at all. It was concern. The heat was the anger rising inside of him. Yes, he was angry. Not with Steve, but the men who did this to him back in where he was during that operation. He knew what would happen from that information because Joe had told him: torture. For days, weeks. No food, no water. Nothing but a black hole and heavily-trained sailors dying one after another because of the lack of strength to endure such a thing. And yes, Steve figured this out from the look he could feel from his friend. He could kind of feel his blood boiling in his veins from where he was sitting, but he was thankful that Danny never said a word. For now. He could see in front of his eyes this bag almost completely blocking his vision. He could guess that he was in a cold, dark space, the floor was made of sand. Although he was in a semi-alert state, shocked by the second rocket's blast, he had managed to know where he was. They were out of the area of operation, that's why the Navy Intelligence had not taken into account this possible ambush. They themselves didn't expect that. He remembered every word he had uttered for information about his compatriots, but they had all been tied up so that none of them could escape, untie oneself, or untie his comrades. All were shocked by the explosion, but all were okay. It was not going to last. If they had not been killed back there, it was because their enemies needed to know something, even several things, and they were the only ones able to give them this information.

"It lasted hours, days. We were given a bottle of water every four days, a meat every six days. We could guess from the number of times we saw the sunlight trying to illuminate the room despite the darkness. We stopped counting the days spent in there after twenty-one days. I believe. We were taken one by one for interrogation, the others could sometimes hear the screams of the one who had been taken away. I... I can not tell you all that. Not yet. Not now."

Danny, his gaze still on Steve, understood his point of view. This moment had been so difficult for him and his friends that he still could not talk about it, even after several years. And also because it was classified. Maybe the information these bastards wanted to pick up was still sensitive today, and Steve could not talk about it?

"I... I know it is hard for you to tell me, or to talk about it to someone. If you don't feel up to tell me, then don't do it. You tell me when you're ready. And I'll be there to hear it and I'll listen to you carefully."

Danny was amazed by himself; his voice remained soft and understanding, as if he were talking to his daughter in order to calm her down. But more than that, his soft voice was breaking with the irresistible anger he felt deep down. He still could not believe what he was hearing. It seems that Joe White had told him the whole truth for once. Honesty was probably the last thing he could expect from that man.

"Joe told you about Wo Fat too?"

"Uh... Yeah", Danny replied, frowning.

What a sudden change of subject! It was really hard for Steve to talk about it then. But Danny knew enough to understand why it was hard to face such a similar situation: he had been abducted, tortured for information by an enemy of him. Yes, it was like reliving what he'd been through years ago.

"Joe told me that he thinks Wo Fat asked your dad to investigate on Shelburne. Because he didn't know how he could have known about Shelburne. Wo Fat needed your father alive apparently, because he knew about it."

Without wanting it, Steve started laughing. Out loud, he couldn't stop it. It was a nervous laugh, which Danny could not understand.

"What's so funny?" he tried to ask.

After several endless seconds, Steve stopped and regained his serious face.

"Joe lied to you. Wo Fat never asked my father to investigate on Shelburne. He knows that, and he also knows that I know. When Doris died, he flew us out to the mainland in order to gather evidence of his wife's murder without us being endangered. He knew it was the Yakuza because he was investigating on the gang and Hiro Noshimuri, under Mokoto's request. That's why my mom was murdered, or rather faked her death: he was close to discovering the truth so the Yakuza wanted him to shut up, but Doris was driving his car at the time, and she got caught up on that. He told Mary and I that a drunk driver killed our mother and he wanted us to be safe on the mainland. He also thought that the government of Hawaii and the Yakuza had a close connexion, close enough to be a part of the cop and governmental corruption. Wo Fat was the link between the Yakuza, my father and Governor Jameson. But the part where my father heard about Shelburne is still unclear. It wasn't from Wo Fat because he seemed surprised to see that my dad knew about it. And that's also why he murdered him; he knew something about the only person that killed his parents. Or he thought she did.

"I swear to God, Steve. I'm gonna kill him. I'm really gonna kill him right away."

"Don't. Don't do that. please."

"You're still protecting him?! After what he did to you?! He lied to you from day one, he protected your mother and he kept all that stuff away from you, but you're still protecting him?!"

"I am not protecting him, Danny!" Steve said, standing straight, visibly very angry. "I'm tired of listening to him lying to me, alright! I just... I just need answers from him. Next time I see him, I swear he'll tell me the truth. or God helps me."

His voice was firm, steady. He meant what he had just said.

"What else did he tell you?"

"Uh... He thinks that Wo Fat wanted information about Shelburne, so he asked the Hesse's brothers to put pressure on him. But he thinks he didn't know that you were tracking down Viktor and Anton. The fact that Viktor killed your father because you killed his brother, even accidentally, wasn't a part of his plan. He only needed to put pressure on your father in order to make him talk about Shelburne."

"You... You tell me that... That if I never tracked down the Hesse's brothers, my father probably would still be alive?"

"I don't know. Maybe it was another lie from Joe, you know? He lied to you so much, it won't surprise me to hear another lie from him after all that."

But even with this comforting statement, Steve still felt bad. His father, still alive. A simple accumulation of coincidences had led to that situation: him investigating the Hesse's brother, his dad knowing things about Shelburne and the Yakuza's close connexion with the State Government, him accidentally killing Anton and killing his own dad on the process. All this was his fault. He closed his eyes, exhaling deeply while rubbing his hands over his face. His fault. It happened because of his own decisions. If Joe had told the truth.

"That's why Wo Fat kidnapped me. Twice. And kidnapped Mary once. Because our father left us his tool bow with all the evidence he had gathered all this time against the Yakuza and Doris's murder in that car bombing. So we knew what he had learned about Shelburne, about the one who had killed his parents."

"That's the best theory, indeed. You were the one able to answer his questions. That's also why he was unable to kill Shelburne when he met her; he didn't expect her to be the woman who had raised him when he was a child. It was way before she met your father and before she retired from the Agency and settled down to live his life with John and way before she had you and your sister."

After some time, Steve weakly nodded. It was hard to hear everything that Danny had said to him. Wo Fat had really told the truth about his mother and him; Doris had raised him after she accidentally killed his mother instead of his father until the Company heard about it and forced her to abandon him. Wo Fat was a kind of foster brother to him. Everything was jostling in his head. He did not know who to believe, or what to trust. He was lost, although he didn't show it outwardly. He needed to sort through, to put himself back in the shoes of the one he was before all this history, that was to say, that insensitive and fearless NavySEAL he had learned to be after years of training.

"Please Danny, I... I need to be on my own for a while."

Danny was the only one who could read in him like an open book. He was the only one to see and know that this hard shell he wore 24/7 was just a facade and that he was undoubtedly the most sensitive man in the world. Even himself wasn't that sensitive. It was his greatest defense to appear emotionless, it was his way of protecting himself from the horrors of this world.

"Okay. I will be in the house, not far. If you need anything, you know where to find me."


	6. Broken

**Hey there! Long time no see, huh? As I have a very busy real life, I could barely have time to write, so little by little, I made this tiny chapter ^^**

 **It's not much, but I promise that the next chapter would be much longer than the rest of the story.**

 **I am also writing something about my last OS (The Fantastic Four), like a sequel to that (one chapter only), but I can't tell you much than that YET.**

 **You tell me what you think about this chapter, right?**

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After having sent Danny back into his house, Steve remained motionless in his chair for hours, until the sun set beyond the horizon. He hadn't moved an inch and it worried the detective. He felt powerless, watching his heart brother fell into darkness without being able to do something for him. But what he knew, it was that forcing Steve to talk wasn't the best idea in the world. The more he would be forced to talk, the more he would slip away. He knew this, even if he wouldn't admit it out loud. He knew people who physically and externally acted very strong, while inwardly, they were a mess. But Steve had been trained not to talk, so he knew that the easy way wasn't an option; he wouldn't get what he wanted this way. His only way to let him open up was being there for Steve, making him understand that he could talk to him about what he had in his heart and his mind. He had to make the first step, just like he did when they were on the beach and Steve started telling about his past. The one he suspected to be Operation Strawberry Fields. The look of fright he had had when he started talking about it, he'd seen it on him years ago, when they had tracked down this guy who targeted NavySEALs and he'd had a slight look at the file talking about this Operation. He never had time to read anything, but if Steve's picture was inside, it was either because he was the leader of this Op, or because after what he had heard and understood, it had been made in order to rescue him. It was 10 in the evening, and Steve still hadn't moved. He had not drunk or eaten something. He could risk sunstroke and dehydration after having spent all this time in the sun. He got out of the house, going to the beach in order to be near Steve. He knew what he had to do now.

"Steve? You have to eat and drink something."

"I'm not hungry."

He expected that answer. Coming from Steve, he could easily know what to expect after all.

"Please. I know you're not feeling up to eat or drink, but your body needs it. Do it for me? Please?"

Inwardly, Steve was laughing hard, but it only translated with a long sigh. He knew he wasn't going to win this argument.

"Fine."

Steve got up, staggering to the kitchen and being surprised to eat all his plate without grumbling. Which of course satisfied Danny.

"Good! Now, you're gonna head upstairs and have a good sleep. And don't even think about putting your alarm on to 5 am in order to go for a run and a swim, you're not in shape for so. Alright?"

"Alright, _mom_."

After ten minutes, Danny finally helped Steve in bed and decided it would be wiser to let the light on. Just in case.

"Go back home, Danny. And grab a good sleep too."

"Sir, yes Sir!" he joked, saluting his best friend.

"he left, leaving Steve alone in his own house. But after three to four hours, he was still not asleep. He couldn't. Suddenly, the phone vibrated. In the middle of the night, it could only be two persons he knew. Steve picked up and placed his phone on his ear.

"Steve, you're up?"

Chin's voice.

"I wouldn't have answered if I wasn't up."

"Right. What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"Meet me then. Same place."

"Kay."

He hung up; Steve knew what he was talking about. It was a secret tradition they had since he had seen in Chin a change in their cases after Malia's death, a change he knew damn too well. He knew what he was dealing with, he knew how to read Chin like an open book. The fact of being alone when you're used to living with someone, it was a hard weight to bear. It was unbearable actually; you come home alone with no one to welcome you, you eat alone, you sleep alone, you live alone. You can't bear the absence of the loved one, you can't close your eyes and sleep or you wake up in the middle of the night with a cold and empty feeling next to you. And then, you can't go back to sleep. Steve knew that Chin couldn't sleep, and he now used to call him in the middle of the night, once every two days in order to meet him in a restaurant down his street and grab a coffee or two. Sometimes just reading papers, other times talking to each other. But this time, Chin called, and he knew why. He drove to the restaurant, parking outside and entering the little space, looking for Chin. Same spot as usual, with two newspapers and coffee, with sugar and milk on the table. He sat in front of his colleague, not uttering a word. Chin give him a newspaper and the milk; he knew Steve was a kind of guy looking for the perfect mix of milk and sugar before drinking his coffee. Ten minutes. Twenty minutes. Thirty minutes. Chin couldn't bear the silence coming from his boss and friend. He dropped his papers, facing the Commander for the first time since it happened.

"I know you don't want to talk, Steve. So, I'm gonna talk and you listen."

Surprised, Steve raised his head for a few seconds before dropping it back to read the paper he had in hand. It took time, but he decided to take a sip of his coffee, harmoniously married with milk and sugar.

"More than anyone, I know what it is. We both know. You won't admit it out loud, but killing Wo Fat had certainly been the hardest choice you had to make so far. But you never had a chance, Steve. There was no other option."

"No. No, it hasn't been hard. He killed my father, he almost killed my mom, my sister and all of you more than once. He tortured me twice and almost put a bullet in my head. So no, it was the easier choice I've ever made."

"I don't mean it like this."

In fact, Steve knew exactly what he was talking about. And he could see in Chin that he understood too.

"What he did to us. What he did to you is inexcusable. Unforgivable. I know that as a NavySEAL, you've been through Hell more than once in the fields. In Afghanistan, or somewhere else. But one thing for sure; he won't ever do that again."

"I know, Chin."

"I know you. More than you want to admit. More than I want to admit even. And I know you're not okay. I can see it, I can feel it. You know you can talk to us when something's wrong, right?"

When Chin talked about "us", he meant their team. But Steve... He was the only one who served in the Navy, he was the only one able to understand what he was going through. No one could understand. He could talk to nobody. Not about this.

"Chin, with all the respect I have for you, nobody. You hear me? Nobody can understand what I've been through. Is that clear?"

With that, Steve got up and decided to leave. It was rough coming from him, he knew it. But on one hand, he did not want to talk about all that. And on the other hand, he was not the type of guy talking about this with anyone, let alone with a "civilian", a non-military dude. He shook his head as he entered his car. What was he doing? Rejecting help from a friend? He started to drive home, parking the car in front of his house before collapsing on the sand from the beach he had behind his house. He let the waves scratching him more than once, breathing the iodized air and the salty scent of the foam. He was bad. Truly bad. He did not know what to do, he was lost. Luckily, his mobile slipped into the back pocket of his pants was still intact, untouched by the dampness of the sea. He dialed the first number coming through his mind, and let himself be guided by his hands. A ring. Two rings. Three ringtones. Someone finally answered.

"Steve?"

"Danny, I..."

"What is it, Steve?"

Danny straightened in his bed, his phone still in hand. But after ten seconds, he still had no answer, so his concern increasingly grew.

"Can you come over?"

"Uh... Yeah, of course, I can. I'm here at ten."

He hung up, not taking the time to change. He didn't bother; his jogging pants and his shirt were enough; Steve already saw him less dressed before. In less than ten minutes, he was on the threshold of Steve's house. He knocked and entered, deactivating and reactivating the alarm system before looking for Steve in the entire house. But he wasn't there. Danny's heart stopped for a second as his negative thoughts hunted him once again. What was happening? Something bad? He shook his head and headed downstairs to go to the beach. It was Steve's sanctuary when he felt bad, which wasn't surprising after what happened a couple days ago. Once on the still warm sand, he saw a feature lying down the beach. A body hit by waves. His eyes grew wide, and within a second, he ran toward this form.

"Steve."

He screamed with all the strength he had, running as fast as he could, faster than he could expect. Faster than he would admit one day. He dropped to his knees once arrived near his friend while they both were hit by waves. He urgently took Steve's head and slapped slightly his cheeks until he could have an answer. A deep breath, a coughing fit, eyes wide open meeting Danny's concerned look. The sailor clung to him in a most astonishing way: he grabbed his shirt soaked with a trembling hand, squeezing his grip as if trying to get lost in him. But Danny... Danny had understood everything. He had read his brother as in an open book. And it broke his heart. He sighed, taking great care not to let his own tears flow while without a word, Steve was opening to him. His head on his chest, his hand clinging to the collar of his shirt, his body trembling under the effect of salt water having beaten him while thinking back to every moment he had spent in this shabby and wet room. Tears, the ones he never allowed himself to show, flowing freely down his cheeks like a waterfall. He put his left arm on Steve's temple, locking his head on his chest, his other hand making a terrible effort to join Steve's free hand so that their fingers intertwined. He was going to show him all the support he could give him, without a single word. Danny understood one thing when he saw his partner like this: Steve showed nothing, keeping everything to himself, when in fact he was perhaps the most fragile of them. And when you accumulate too much, one day the dam had to give way. And what Wo Fat had done to him was the last drop.

Steve had convinced Wo Fat that he would never break him. He had even convinced himself, even his partner and best friend. But deep down, the fear of death he had felt in front of Wo Fat... It didn't break him. It shattered him.


	7. How to rebuild

**THIS IS IT! The last chapter! Shorter than usual for this story, but longer than the previous one, as promised. I did my best to end this story before I come back to work (Monday), because it'll be very busy after that; I will surely barely have the time to rest, let alone write something.**

 **BUT I promise you, there are two new stories coming up as fast as I can. One will be a sequel to my last one-shot (The Fantastic Four), and the other will be a sequel to Steve HumanSEAL McGarrett (yes yes ^^), but I won't tell you anything more about these two stories (obviously) because I don't know when I'll be able to publish them.**

 **Right now, let's focus on this last chapter for Ina Paha :D**

 **Have a nice reading everyone!**

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It tore Danny apart to feel and see Steve so broken. Five years of friendship and he had never seen him this bad. He was shaking, weeping, his right hand still clutched to the collar of his shirt while the other was glued to the detective's own right hand, their fingers still firmly tangled. It hurt his hand, as Steve had a very strong grip, but he didn't care. Because he knew that his heart brother needed someone right here and right now. No matter what. He had to stay there and be there for him. That what Joe had talked about: as Wo Fat's story was over now, Steve was sinking deeply. And dangerously. He was slipping away. No food, no drink, no talk or a few words, bad mood. All the signs of depression. Instinctively, he tightened his grip, as if to show that he was there. That he would always be, no questions asked.

"You're alright", Danny assured in a whisper, his voice fading each time he repeated it.

He began to sway, something he was used to doing when Grace was sick or had nightmares through the night. Apparently, it could also work on grown-ups: little by little, Steve's tears slowed down until it reached absolute silence, the latter only broken by the waves stranding on the white sand. He had fallen asleep. In his arms. Finally. His grasp was still there, although looser. The heavy water drops coming out of his swollen eyes were still running down his cheeks. His whole body was still trembling as he continued to lull his best friend. Yes, that was something they would probably be ashamed of if someone could see them. But right now, Danny Williams didn't care. What he cared for was Steve, him and only him. He kept repeating these three words, swinging from side to side with Steve's right side of his head resting on his chest. His legs were tingling, his knees were throbbing from keeping the same position for minutes now, a dozen of them even. After another three hundred seconds, he finally decided to stop moving as Steve's hand slipped from the collar of his shirt to crash on his own chest.

It was the first time the Jersey native could see serenity on his friend's face since the rescue. He still had the images in mind: Chin and himself wandering into the hallway in order to get out of the building, laying him on the ground after releasing all the fatigue he had accumulated; when he had fainted. He was also the one in the ambulance who had carefully removed the ties impeding the navy's ankles and wrists with shaking hands. He remembered every part of this liberation. But it wasn't important. What mattered now was to be here with Steve when he needed it the most. He would surely say the opposite, that everything was fine and that he did not need help, but the police officer knew it would be a lie. And God knew how much Steve hated lies, even though he often lied to himself. He frequently lost arguments with him, but this time he wasn't going to give up. He would not abandon him. Not even for all the riches of the world. Never.

He couldn't move an inch without the risk of interrupting the sleep that Steve had finally managed to find after a long time. And even though his knees were hurting him very badly, he decided to grit his teeth and wait; keeping his heart brother asleep was worth the pain for sure. And he would do it a million times again if that was necessary. Yes, he would do everything he could to appease this man. He stayed that way for hours until he felt the first rays of the sun brush his skin. Just before coming to hit Steve's face. The latter stirred a little, moving to find a more comfortable position while Danny winced, in vain. But he felt... Good. Relaxed. In peace. After what he'd been through, it was surprising, so why? Why now? He tried to think about what happened before he had fallen asleep. He remembered his chat with Chin and how rude he talked to him about not needing help, he recalled having called Danny in the middle of the night and being slapped with big waves. And the way his body was arching... Either he was in a really weird position, or...

He decided to listen the sounds and the feelings around him: the waves crashing on the sand, the sun licking his skin, the sensation of being in someone's arms. He pried his eyes open, fighting his blurry vision and the rays of the early sun blinding him to finally meet Danny's eyes. They were filled with pain, but he didn't move. He couldn't. The tears. He had shed tears. He felt so weak and exhausted. He had never felt this way before, and it worried him. It scared him even. What was happening to him?

"Danny?" he uttered, his voice sounding far away from where his body was.

Weirdly, the pain he could see in his partner's eyes faded within a second. And then, he saw a smile anchored on his lips.

"Hey. Feel better?"

Without a word, he nodded slowly. Indeed, he felt so much better than hours prior. He felt rested as if it helped to rebuild his shattered shield.

"You could have left me here", Steve tried to say, but Danny immediately shook his head from side to side.

"No, not a chance. You called me in the middle of the night, so don't you dare saying I didn't have to stay or I'll kick your silly ass."

He regretted these words almost immediately. They went out so easily, he couldn't control them. He sighed, apologizing right away for his sentence.

"Don't be sorry, Danny. Don't change because I... Uh..."

"Because you are broken and you need help?" the detective said truly, raising his left eyebrow.

"Something like that", Steve complied.

"Oah", he replied, surprised. "You admit to needing help? It'll snow in Hell then."

Steve forced a smile after this sarcasm coming from his partner. He knew he needed help, just like he accepted support when he had lost his colleagues and friends years ago on that terrible operation. He knew that he needed to talk to someone, someone he could trust above all. The only one in this situation was Danny.

"They waterboarded us."

Not knowing what he was talking about, Danny frowned and looked down at his friend.

"What?"

"The terrorists. They waterboarded us. Many times."

The police officer raised his head; now he knew what was that sentence about. He was talking about this operation that had turned wrong.

"I stopped counting after the fifteenth time. I guess my... My friends stopped counting too. They broke our bones, they hit us hard, they ran electricity through our bodies, they did so many things... But we said nothing, not a word. Not even a curse. Just... Sounds. Cries. Screams as they kept torturing us. After nearly a month, I stopped counting the days spent in that Hellhole. We lost our friends one by one without being able to do anything to appease their suffering."

Danny listened to Steve very carefully. As he knew how hard it was to talk about it, he also knew that this information was classified. That was the first time Steve had been shaken enough to talk about something that had happened in his past. Except for the fake-death-mother thing. It was a privilege, an honor even, to hear this untold story.

"We were hungry, thirsty. Tired. All we wanted to was to die because we couldn't stand the fact of just breathing. Everything was painful, everything ached. Every torture they newly tried was less painful as our body was too weak to fight. Every day was a moment we saw as the last. We wanted everything to stop, but it continued. We wanted death, to welcome it with open arms, like our comrades before us, but... It did not come, we continued to cling to life for God-knows-the-reasons. I... I don't remember when it was, but when I saw Joe's face in that terrible cell, I thought it was all over. That he was there to tell me that I had a good fight and that it was time to let go. But when I woke up, I was in that hospital bed, pretty much alive."

Now, Danny was fully aware of the Hell Steve had been through. It wasn't the fear of Death at the time, it was the fear of remaining alive. It was the fact that he kept praying for death, but it never came. He had broken down because he was still alive, not because he had been scared of death.

"And when... When after days of debriefing my friend and I were authorized to recover at home... When I received this phone call telling me that Arthur had taken his own life... I just... I just had one thing in the head: find these bastards and make them pay for what they did to all of us. My only goal was that."

The cop swallowed hard; he knew what had happened after that phone call, Joe had told him. But coming from Steve made him realize how authentic it was. And also how hard it was and how difficult it had been to overcome this. Arthur. That was surely his real name.

"I did my best to come back overseas, in order to track down these SOB once again. And after weeks of work, I was able to kill them. One by one. In cold blood. After that, it was all over, and... I had no purpose left. I had nothing left. Everything that happened and accumulated took over and... And broke me. I was a real mess."

Yes, Danny had heard this story once. Yes, it already broke his heart the first time when he'd been told about this operation. But this time, it was completely different. The narrator was Steve. His Steve. The one who had suffered all this. It was his point of view, coming from the inside of this Hell, and not from the outside like with Joe. He couldn't believe it.

"Hopefully, Freddie was there. And... And I have to admit, Catherine was there too. She was the one who helped me find these bastards in order to shut them down. That's how we've met. She helped me a lot, more than I would admit. We never talked about this, but... Just her presence near me helped me overcome this and come back to work."

The Jersey native now knew what he had to do to be there for Steve. Not talking about what happened with Wo Fat, but just be there with him. That sounded simple. But it was so complicated. Talking to Joe, to his mom would always revive these scenes in his head. Seeing them would surely be worse than anything for him because he would also have to refrain the urge to punch them for all these lies about his own life and his deep and strong link with this criminal. Danny would do everything it took to keep Steve out of this as long as possible. Because it would tear him apart for good.

"Then... I will do the same for you. Be there, no questions asked. No need to talk about this anymore", Danny explained very firmly. "Deal?"

Surprised by his heart brother's reaction, he raised his head and met his eyes and his face. His nostrils were not moving an inch at all. No lie coming from him. And on the top of that, he knew he could trust him; this story would stay between the both of them for as long as they were alive and they would take it in the grave together.

"Deal", Steve repeated after thirty seconds.

"Come on then, let's get you inside your own house. My knees hurt to stay still like that for so long."

"Right. Plus, you don't like the sun. And the beach", Steve stated with sarcasm.

"I can see you've learned the lesson", Danny said smiling, helping Steve getting to his feet.

He winced a little, massaging both his knees before any movement. After hours in the same position, trying to keep Steve as still as possible in order to keep him asleep, that had been extremely painful, and the NavySEAL could read it on his friend's face.

"Did you... Hurt your knee because of me?"

"Na... Just a little bit. It was worth it, I got a nice hug from you", he delighted the atmosphere, making Steve laugh.

"I am sorry", he said truthfully and spontaneously.

"You didn't get me shot at, did you?"

"No, but..."

"Then no need to apologize. Only when you got the other shot, remember?"

They entered the house together, heading straight toward the kitchen because they both were hungry after this stressful and draining night. They divided the tasks: Steve was the most talented of both of them at making the best coffee whDannyannt was the best person to make a hearty breakfast to start the day. But at some point, the sailor stopped, turning back to his friend.

"Can we... Not talk about what happened? On the beach I mean", Steve slowly asked his friend.

"There's no need to ask, babe", Danny assured with a faint smile.

Yes, only be there for him, near him. It was Steve's best cure.

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 **A/N:** **So, what did you think about this last chapter? This whole story? Tell me everything!**


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